Wisdom from my walk

I’ve been on this journey towards a fit life for a few months now. In the last week I’ve had people who don’t follow me on FB and aren’t aware of this journey mention how good I look. I’ve also had several people ask me what I’m eating or not eating as a result of seeing the changes in my weight. I’d love to say I have a magic plan to offer. I told someone that a lot of it is exercise more than diet, needless to say that wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. But, even if you can’t exercise every day, you can make simple changes in your eating habits to get more healthy.

If you haven’t heard me say it before, don’t drink your calories! There is one exception to this rule, at least for me. If you regularly skip breakfast or the option is running through a fast food drive thru because you are running late to a meeting, work, or to pick up your kids, then I offer this option. Instead of skipping the most important meal of your day or giving in to your growling stomach by appeasing it with greasy fast food, drink a smoothie. I usually buy generic, store brand versions of slim fast already made vanilla shakes. I pour it and some frozen fruit in the blender and have a delicious and healthy meal in minutes. This is the only time I drink my calories. Otherwise, no soda, sweetened tea, coffee, or juice. Drink water every time you are thirsty, and then some more! If you currently drink your calories this way, I’m certain you can drop a few pounds by switching to drinking water only.

When I’m not replacing 1-2 meals a day with a smoothie, I’m cautious of my meals but not so much so that I’m counting calories. I do not eat bread any more. If I want a wrap I use low calorie ones (60 calories vs 150!). For sandwiches that can’t be made into a wrap, I use slimwiches. Which look like slimmed down bagels, these are actually very tasty. Choose the ones at the store with the lowest calorie per sandwich as possible. I’ve not found a brand I don’t like.

I’ve cut all meat except chicken out of my diet. This is for health reasons more than calories. I feel better when I don’t eat processed foods, you will too if you let yourself adjust to eating more cleanly.

Above all, replace chips and snacks with fruit. If I am hungry I will usually grab a banana or other fruit that we have on hand. If you love chips, a great healthy choice are Garden veggie chips. The brand we have allows you to eat 38 chips for only 130 calories. I usually get full around 20 chips, if not sooner.

So while I’m not doing any one diet plan, I’m changing the way I eat every meal so that I can continue to eat normal foods so that the changes last a lifetime. I know I can’t live on smoothies alone. I know I can lose weight doing so, but I don’t want to be on a liquid diet for the rest of my life. The important thing is adding healthy foods, lower calorie, and higher fiber options that keep you full so that you don’t feel like you are dieting.

I admit I cheat sometimes. Yesterday I had cookies and a fruit sundae. I’m not proud of it, but sometimes a girl has cravings and hormones force us to eat chocolate! Stress is a trigger for me and I know I have a tendency to cheat on days I feel overwhelmed. Try not to give in to these urges, but if you do, get back on track as soon as you feel like you can. Again, making it a lifestyle change and not a diet makes eating healthy a long-term effort.

If you pair healthy eating habits with at least 30 minutes of exercise a day you will be well on your way to a healthy lifestyle.  When asked how I am doing it, the most important thing I say first, is that its not easy.  I have to strive everyday to make the right choices. To choose to eat well and to exercise.  There’s not an easy, quick way to lose weight that will help you achieve a healthy lifestyle.  But you can make small changes that will lead to a healthier you.  I highly recommend you join me on this journey.  I’m not an expert on fitness by any means, but today I wore my sons shirt because mine was too baggy.  I admit I’m not doing this perfectly, and even some days struggle a lot, but the results are well worth it.

Just a few months ago I had to carefully plan the days I went grocery shopping and pray I got a very close parking spot since I was in so much pain. I would get so exhausted from shopping that I would have to plan for that to be my big outing for the day.  I dreaded coming home from the store when Dean wasn’t home since it meant I’d have to drag all the groceries in, which would be difficult after I arrived home worn out from the trip to the store.

Today I did an early morning run, served at church, went shoe shopping with the family, did homework, and then went for a late evening trip to the grocery store. I chose a parking spot far from the door.  As as I loaded the groceries in the car I realized how good I felt. Sure I’m achy from my race yesterday, but it’s 10pm and I’ve had a very busy day.  I had more than enough energy to come home, unload the groceries, and do some laundry.  My pedometer says I’m nearing 17000 steps for the day, 10000 is the minimal amount for health, they say you should do 12-15000 steps a day to lose weight.

I’ve been seriously exercising for just 2 months now. Three weeks ago I added running to my training.  I can’t imagine how much better I’ll feel and look in 2 more months.  I’m so excited about this journey I’m on.  I’m getting healthy; in body, mind and spirit. Months ago I was depressed, miserable, and in nearly unbearable pain. Some days I was barely able to get out of bed or go up and down stairs, today I’m running and really living again.

I believe in miracles, and sometimes instead of healing us instantly God waits for us to choose to accept the gift of health.  Months ago I choose to fight for my health, today is proof that miracles can happen. Sometimes God completely heals us with just one touch, sometimes healing comes through an inner transformation that allows us to truly lean into Him for the strength.  It can take time, and as with me, a little effort on my part.  For years I trusted in doctors for answers, now I know that I just need to keep listening to that still small voice that keeps telling me to keep moving towards Him.  With each leg of this journey I walk, or run, I am learning that I am not doing it on my own.  I am grateful God has granted me the strength and energy to overcome every obstacle in my way, and will continue to do so every day as long as I keep my eyes focused on Him.

This morning as I was running I was reflecting on the race I’d run the day before and the subsequent pain I felt as a result of it.  I woke up early today, determined to get my run in before we went to serve at church.  I had been texting my friend who had done the race with me, sharing the misery of pain we felt from our adventure yesterday.  As I drove home from running I continued to think about the fact I was pushing myself even though I knew it would be painful, the aches in my back and shoulder a testimony to the effort I put forth.

I got the image of clay that was being molded.  I was reminded of the scripture that says, “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand” (Isaiah 64:8).  Just like the physical training I was doing to reshape and mold my body is painful, so is the molding that takes place when we engage in spiritual training.

We can train our body by being disciplined enough to exercise and eat well.  Likewise, we can exercise our spirit by reading the Bible, praying, worshiping, serving, fasting, and meditating.  These activities may be difficult and challenging, often putting us outside of our comfort zone.  Similar to the dedication a runner gives to training, a Christian must commit time and energy to staying spiritually fit.  The process will not be easy and may be painful at times, but the results will be a transformed life.

As I thought about how much energy and time I’m committing to my physical health, I realized I do not always give the same amount of devotion to maintaining my spiritual health.  Lately I’ve been able to spend time in prayer and solitude while running. I find that I always feel refreshed and renewed, physically and spiritually, after I’ve engaged in both spiritual and physical training. Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it”.

Just like I’ve taken small steps each day to push myself harder to get physically fit, I am encouraged that small changes in my spiritual life will also yield tremendous rewards.I hope today you can consider what small changes you can make in your life to engage in spiritual training.  Do you think you would benefit from becoming committed to a spiritual fitness routine?  What is holding you back from training yourself to be spiritually disciplined? How can you overcome the obstacles that keep you from drawing closer to Christ?

A few additional scriptures to ponder:

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:8).

It starts when we are kids.  You play games with friends and there’s always someone who scores more points.  Early on in school, we learn to associate our knowledge level with a grade.  As we age, we either wear our years with pride or wish we were older (or younger).  I remember longing for the day I turned 18, turned out it was just another day in my life.  Eventually, we become defined socially by the amount of money on our paycheck, or lack thereof.   At some point we begin to realize the numbers on the scale say a lot about who we are, or rather reinforces what others have said about us for years.  Our society uses these number games to put people in their place.  If you get good grades you enter an elite group, if you don’t, you join the ranks of another group.  If you earn a certain paycheck you are “better” than someone else making less than you.

As  a girl, I grew up being judged for my looks quite early.  I learned that I could get attention by doing well in school.  Sadly over time that attention from teachers just made me more of an outcast from my peers.  I was bigger than other kids, physically matured before my peers, and was smarter than a lot of my classmates for most of my youth.  All of these things put me in the nerdy, unwanted group of kids.

Unfortunately there are some labels you don’t outgrow.  I admit and wear my geek badge with pride now.  I’m working on outgrowing those unwanted pounds that for years have made me feel unwelcome and unloved by others.  But I find I still thrive to meet the high expectations I set for myself all those years ago when I knew the only way for me to succeed was to do well in school.

I’m now less than a year from graduating college, a few too many years later than I originally planned.  So far I’ve maintained a 3.95 GPA and have fought to maintain it.  I know that number is trivial. It won’t help me get a job or do much but make me feel good about myself.  It’s amazing how a grade can make me feel so deflated, stupid, and incapable. The truth is I’ve overcome many obstacles to get to where I am today.  I will continue to face and over come many more in the months to come.

I think for me the biggest lesson God is teaching me through the college experience is to let go.  It’s a lesson I constantly need to relearn.  I’m no longer the smartest kid in the class, and while it hurts my ego, in the end it doesn’t really matter.  What matters is finishing a dream God put on my heart and discovering the plan He has for me.  Everything else is just icing on the cake.  I know I’ll continue to struggle to accept my grades when they are not what I think they should be, but I think learning to accept the reality that I can’t do it all will eventually win out.

I’m currently going to school, training to run a 5K, raising 3 kids, maintaining our home, regularly volunteering at church, and trying to be a supportive and loving wife.  I can’t give any one of these things my undivided attention, that means I can’t have a spotless house and straight A’s.  It also means I may not always have dinner cooked when Dean gets home, the energy to hang out with friends, or even stay awake long enough to find out how Dean’s day was.  There are seasons of life, and for right now I’m spreading myself thin, as I tend to do.  This may mean letting go of grades or having a dirtier house, but in the end what matters is that I do what God has called me to do.  First and foremost that is to be there for my kids, husband, and friends when they need me.  If I’m discouraged and grouchy because I’m flailing in some part of my life then I can’t be there to give to those around me. So today I quit.  I quit playing the numbers game.  I lay my marriage, my kids, my GPA, the cleanliness of my house, the number on the scale, the amount in the checkbook,and the time I have to exercise at the foot of the throne of God and give Him control because if it’s up to me I’d lose the game every single day.

This week I reached my first weight loss goal.  Today I set some new goals.

#1: Lose 10 lbs by September 1st, 2013

#2: successfully walk/jog a 5K on September 14, 2013

#3: long term goal – to lose at least 50 (ideally 75) lbs by May 15, 2014 (my graduation from college, also an important goal)

Ideally training for #2 will make #1 happen by default.  And working on #1 and #2 will make # 3 easier!

I’ll be joining a training team at a local running store to prepare for the 5K. We start training Saturday but today I did day 1 of the Couch to 5K (C25K) program.  I need to remember to let that be my only exercise for the day. I made the mistake of doing 3 miles early this morning, taking care of kids and home all day, then completing the 1st day of C25K.  I did surprisingly well considering, and I am amazed that I finished it and still felt mostly okay afterward.  I could have never done that a year ago, maybe not even 6 months ago.

Excited and scared of my new goals, but I can’t wait to achieve all three of the above goals.  I never thought I’d consider doing nor having the desire to jog/run but as I find myself wanting to increase the intensity of my workouts without spending twice as much times it seems to be the best option.  Prayers appreciated that my body doesn’t rebel too much and that I have the confidence to stick with something that I find scary and overwhelming.

Today I’d like you in join me as I say good-bye to a few good friends, well actually more than a few.  I have spent the last 12 years with these friends.  Wherever I went they were there.  In good times and bad, in sickness and health, they hung around.  Some days they literally dragged me down, other days they seemed to fade into me as though they belonged.

Today we say good-bye to the first twenty pounds of my weight loss journey.  My journey will never be the same again. For me, there is no turning back.  I’m sorry old friends, you are no longer welcome here.  I’m sick of the pain and fatigue you cause me and it’s time for you to move on.

I hope more that remain will continue to make the transition out of my life in the coming weeks and months, but for now, I celebrate this remarkable milestone with joy.  I have completed the first phase of my long-term goal and I have confidence that I will continue to succeed.

Since I’m still considerably overweight, many may not even notice that I lost 20 lbs; but I do.  I feel healthier. I have more energy.  I can exercise longer and with more strength.  I can enjoy the time with my family more because I’m not constantly in pain (most of the time) and am not always fatigued.  I’m eating healthier.  I’m exercising more.  But most importantly, I’m continuing to walk this journey. Literally every mile I walk gets me closer to my goal.  I’m able to get my homework done more quickly because I can focus better (no joking, it’s taking me about half the time to do my homework these days simply because my attention span and focus are so much better!)

I know that I wouldn’t have made it this far without the amazing support from family and friends. From those who offer words of encouragement or mention how good I look, each bit of support means more than you can imagine.  This is not an easy journey.  I struggle every day with making the right choices with how I spend my time, what I eat, and whether or not I will give in to the negative thoughts.  Huge thanks to Dean for being my biggest supporter and tons of gratefulness that the kids allow me to fit exercise in our busy days. But I know I wouldn’t have come this far without God’s help.

During the first 30 days I read a fitness devotional.  Now that I’m done that I spend time praying while I exercise.  I’ve learned to thank God for the strength to complete each workout. Some days it’s truly a miracle I get through it all.  I am very grateful that instead of taking away my health obstacles, God has given me the strength and means to fight back through daily doses of exercise.

Isaiah 40:31: “Those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.”

Last week I walked a total of 26 miles. A few months ago I was not exercising at all. I’m now exercising at least 30 minutes a day. Some days last week I exercised for 70 minutes a day! I used to think I could never start exercising. Now my biggest problem is figuring out when I can since the kids are home with me all day.

I must say they might be my biggest supporters right now. They have learned that mom is serious about exercising and that once I start exercising for the day I can’t be interrupted. Occasionally they will come talk to me while I’m working out but they know I won’t stop what I’m doing unless it’s an emergency.

This past week I reached the milestone of losing 15 lbs. The first weight loss goal I set for myself was to lose 20 lbs. I hope to meet that goal on or before July 27th. I haven’t set my next goal for after that yet. I wanted to make sure I could reach this goal first in case I have to adjust the timeline for this one.

If I reach this first goal by the 27th then I think my next goal will be to lose a total of 30 lbs by September 1st. That would mean I would have a little over a month to lose the next 10 lbs. This means I’d have to lose a little more than one lb a week which I know is doable at this point. I will likely need to keep increasing the intensity of my workout to keep losing.

When having a goal to lose more than 50 lbs before May 2014 I know that my biggest fear is hitting a plateau and not being able to keep losing significant amounts of weight. I’ve read several success stories of others who have successfully lost large amounts of weight which gives me hope that I too can lose at least if not more than 50 lbs, but its still scary.

I don’t know what my life will look like when I’ve lost the weight but I imagine my health will continue to improve and my energy level will increase. For right now I’m setting SMART goals. Right now I’m struggling with staying motivated, because as my body changes I am aware of how much further I have to go. It may sound strange, but I feel fatter now than I did before. I think the difference is knowing I can lose weight and being irritated that it’s taking so long to take off those unnecessary lbs that I’ve gained over the years.

While I’m struggling to stay motivated, seeing changes in the scale, in how my clothes fit and how I feel are all great reminders of why I’m on this journey.