Defining Moments

1/17/1979

11/1/1998

8/10/2001

9/11/2001

11/24/2004

3/23/2006

5/16/2014

All of these dates, except for one, may seem random to you. They were all  dates of significant events in my life. If I asked you to list out important dates in your life, you would probably include things like birthdays, graduations, weddings, deaths of loved ones, and other milestones that took place that deeply impacted you.

I am glad to say I had others to celebrate or mourn with me on these days. When events like 9/11 took place, we united as a nation. The world even took notice and supported us. In contrast, when events only impact us or those dearest to us, we may only have a few with whom to share the experience.

What about those milestones that are only significant to us? The day you started your first job after graduation? The day you received a bad medical diagnosis? The day you received a positive medical report? The day you received your first paycheck? The day the scale finally had a number you thought you’d never see? The day you looked in the mirror and decided you needed to change the person being reflected? The day you looked in the mirror and loved what you saw? The day you decided to quit a bad habit? The day you realized you successfully quit that habit, reached a goal, or found what you’d been looking for (the job, the spouse, the home of your dreams)?

Who is there to celebrate or mourn with you during those times that don’t involve anyone else?  If you can answer that question, you are blessed. If you can’t answer that question, I want to challenge you today. We were designed to live in community with others. Life is much better when we can share it with others.  If you can’t think of someone you can call when times are good or when times are bad then something needs to change. If you are reading this, let me know if you need help connecting with others. I’d love to be there for you when you need the support of others.

Scripture clearly states that man was not meant to live alone.

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'(Genesis 2:18).”

God created Eve for Adam. Sure, that is often interpreted to apply only to marriage. But I also believe that applies to non-marital relationships. God has put people in your life to help you. They can be friends, teachers, mentors, or co-workers who will walk beside you through the good and bad times.  I truly believe people come into our lives for a purpose. Some are there for short seasons and some for a lifetime. Regardless of their length of stay in your life, appreciate the time you have to share together.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.

For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion.

But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.”

(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

I want to encourage you to create a new defining moment on your timeline. Let today be the day your reach out and find others to stand beside you each and every day.  Relationships are hard. In the busyness of life it’s hard to maintain friendships, but if you can make the time you won’t regret it.

You may remember the camaraderie you felt when you commiserated with others about 9/11. During that time, others freely shared their opinions and fears because we were all going through it together. Find others that are going through similar situations as you. If you are going through a divorce, seek out a divorce group. If you are working on a fitness or health journey, some friends and I are going through the process together as a group and we’d love to have you join us. If you are coping with addiction, find others who can support you through your healing.  If you are a new mom or dad find a new parents group that meets in your community. Find others who share a common interest as you and meet with them regularly.

What if you can’t find others who share things in common with you? Then create space for that to happen. Start a new group. Post an ad on craigslist or at a local coffee shop.  See if others at your workplace, school or church are interested  in going through the journey of life with you and others.

A defining moment is one that changes you, either positively or negatively. I hope that in finding others to walk alongside you through the ups and downs of life that you will create positive changes in your life.  Are you ready to put a new defining moment on your timeline?

What will your timeline say for 2/17/2015?