I guess all of you praying for me got what you wanted….the MRI was normal.  I do not have MS.   That’s the good news right? yet I feel more upset than ever.  I feel so badly that I am willing to accept any diagnosis no matter how grave if it means getting treatment and even momentary relief.  Instead I was basically told to deal with it and get over it.  Whatever.    I FEEL HORRIBLE.  as I sat in front of that pompus dr feeling shitty he dared to say that to me, I quickly told him it’s easier said than done and he pulled a line I would have liked Dean to clip him for..well I’m the dr and you have to listen to me. Truth is no I dont.   I will find another dr and try again.  I cant manage three kids let alone myself some days feeling this way.

the truly good news of the day..which the neurologist tried to make seem stupid as well…was that I got my CPAP machine.  I am praying after one night of good sleep I feel better than ever..but dumb dr today said it probably isnt worth the money and bothersome side effects of using it…..blah on him.  he tried to dash all the hopes I had today but until I use it and realize for myself it’s pointless well than there is still some hope I may feel at least a little well rested soon.

I’m in a very bad mood, it’s raining out and I need to pick the boys up from school and hope Zeke naps afterward…I would love a nap myself as my head is killing me but no naps for me…off to do what the dr ordered…suck it up and live life….forget about how shitty I feel and get on with it…geez seems like that’s what I’ve been doing for 10 years……when is enough enough???