I feel like I havent done a thing all day….but I know I must have since the house is still standing, the boys have clean diapers on and it’s even semi clean in here.   I think Zeke may be getting sick he’s had some nasty diapers all day and seem to be getting more frequent.  Dean feels yucky.  Caleb’s eyes have been bothering him, they’re all itchy and red.  Bo seems fine of course, a fireball of energy and anger.  I am so sick of that child hitting me I almost lost it today.   I’m exhausted and I’ve still got a few hours til bedtime.

I’m worried about a lot of things today, things I cant change and I know I need to have faith but things havent looked this bleak in a long time.   the rain finally stopped, but the sun still isnt shining.  I wish it was, maybe then I’d feel a little more sunshiney.   until then i’m going to keep pushing myself to get through with this day.  speaking of which, I smell another stinky diaper.   why is it he gets diarrhea right when I open the last container of new wipes and we have no money til the first of the month which is two weeks away.  I’ m sure things will work out, I’m just really blaming myself and my illness for our lack of money, and I know thats a lot of our problem.

well I didnt want to write about money, I want to forget all about it…since there is no money I mine as well not think about any huh?