we saw a commercial tonight about Fibromyalgia.   my favorite part was when they said” sometimes I want a hug, but I know it’s going to hurt”  so so true,  sad but true.

My dr finally called me back today.   I was scheduled to see her next Monday but the pain is getting too bad so I called her on Friday and just got her call back today.   So…turns out my uric acid level is still elevated.  but she’s still not convinced the pain is from gout.  So on wednesday I’ll go and she’ll take a look at my foot and I guess then we’ll see what she thinks.  So my bloodwork shows I have high uric acid but she doesnt think I necessarily have gout.   I dont really care, I just want the pain to go away.  just because my symptoms aren’t textbook I dont think it’s fair she doesnt believe it’s still not gout.   the truth is, it very well could be gout but since it’s very very rare in a women before menopause who’s to say that it will be anywhere near normal since it’s so rare for my age anyway.

anyway…the irony was she called me on my cell, the dr that is, and she asked if I could make it to her office w/ in the hour and I couldnt seeing as I was at the zoo and had my friend and her kids with me.  she was suprised I could walk around the zoo since w/ gout the pain makes it hard to even walk let alone not move the affected area.  I told her I have three kids I have learned to deal w/ the pain.   sure it hurts like heck to walk most times, but it’s either sit at home and be in pain w/ miserable bored kids or be out and about getting much needed exercise and fresh air.   the truth is I do wake up at night in extreme pain that keeps me awake.   the truth is just because I live with it doesnt mean the pain doesnt exist and isnt excrutiating, the truth is it hurts but it’s my life and sadly I’m used to dealing w/ daily pain.  but the point is I called her because it’s getting too hard to keep ignoring.  so we’ll see what she says on Wednesday.  I’m not looking forward to it, but I cant wait to see what her plan is now that my bloodwork confirmed that I have a uric acid problem.   even if it’s not gout, it’s something abnormal that I need meds for, meds by the way she wants me to keep only taking half the amt of, no wonder I”m in pain right?  sometimes I wish I was a dr and knew more than I do…thus my plan once the kids are all i in school to go to nursing school, dont think I can handle med school but I’m sure I could be a nurse, and I think after dealing w/ all I have I’d be a darn good one, if anything a compassionate one!!