my littlest boy is 1!!! I just looked at pics of him while he was a few days old and in the NICU. I’m an emotional mess becuase of this and the fact my family and Balto. friends wont be around. Ironically friends we know from Maryland are driving in tomorrow and will be around because they are going to a concert in Ohio tomorrow night.  Just wishing some other of my friends and family would be here….I’m really missing my best friends the most these days.   I’m slowly building relationships, ok quickly if you consider we’ve only been here a few months and some new friends are coming tomorrow.  but still…it just will never be the same for me.  some of you just cant be replaced!! Love you all and cant wait to be back to visit in a week or two.
I still cant believe this time last year I was sitting in a hospital bed new mom to my third boy. we’d just recently finished converting Caleb’s room into a room that would fit Bo to make way for Zeke in the nursery.  and there we no plans that we’d leave that home anytime soon.  yet here I sit preparing our new home, which has way more than enough room for all three boys and guests, for our first kid party here.  stinking motherly emotions mixed w/ hormones and fatigue….geez..I wish I werent so weepy on my kids first birthday. but it’s the last FIRST birthday of one of my children.  so it’s got to be a good one right??
Bo spent the night at my Bil’s house last night and was there all day so today I spent w/ Zeke running errands, going to meet Caleb at school for lunch and later we were all back together having dinner w/ Dean’s parents.   there is no lack of Family here, it’ s just not my family and it does hurt. i doubt Dean’s thought of that as I am an emotional mess for no reason to him but it’s just a tough thing for me. I miss my family and friends and like I said, they cant be replaced.  It will get easier I suppose, but this is Zeke’s first birthday so it’s sentimental for a lot of reasons to me.
just wanted to make sure I tried to document something on this momentus day.  Happy 1st birthday little Zeke!! my crawling and cruising little man.  You wave at everyone and awe them with your smile.  You are so little for your age…little next to others younger than you even.  could be the few weeks early you were born, or just how God made you I suppose but it makes me want you to stay a baby so much longer. you’re not yet walking and we’re helping you work on that, but you need to help your little legs get stronger first.  So it’s easy to look at you and see you as our baby, and I love you so much today and always little man.  May you grow to be a wise and honest man who follows after your Fathers heart.
