This morning we went and visited at the church I grew up in. We’ve done this several times since we’ve been married, but by far this was the most peaceful and enjoyable visit yet. I was received w/ many hugs and warm thoughts. We even got invited to a party that the youth pastor was having at his house today so we went and hung out with people I hung out when I was a teen and their now spouses and kids. It was good for me. I had a real conversation with someone I’ve always held dear to my heart but whom I havent talked to in quite a long time. Last time we visited he kept us at arms length and I was hoping for at least small talk today, and for once we talked. Caught up on how things were now and talked about some memories. I needed that. Closure and the reopening of doors to old friends can do a lot for one’s morale. I know I had a lot of friends there before, friends I have neglected for my own reasons, friends I miss dearly. There isnt a day when I see something or go somewhere that doesnt remind me of the close friends that are now so distant, maybe not geographically, but relationally. It felt good to get together and realize how fast things change and people grow. I know that I probably wont talk much to these old friends again, but I think I may try a little harder to keep in touch now that we are closer. I am so glad my friend April and I are back on speaking terms and are getting a chance to get to know each other as moms and wives. Today we sat in church together, with Dean and her sister who is younger than us and newly married and pregnant. During the service I turned to her and said who would have thought we’d all be sitting here one day as moms and wives ?? Sometimes its hard to face being an adult, but when you have good friends it makes it a lot easier.
In other news, I am feeling somewhat better. Supposed to start new medicine this weekend, but we got to the pharmacy too late yesterday not knowing they close early on Saturdays and today forgot to go before church and by the time we got home they were closed again. So I’ll probably start that tomorrow night. I have a doctors appointment in the morning and will have to get more blood work done then. I hate blood work, but I am sure this wont be the last time I have to do it. I’ve been feeling naseaus so often and seem to be gaining some weight and since stopping birth control after having been taking it with antibiotics which may have cancelled it out (yet the dr and pharmacist didnt mention it, and I was on an antibiotic for at least a month!) I was concerned that I might be pregnant. Last night I was looking online at the pregnancy calendar and based on my cycles if I was pregnant now the baby would be due same around Caleb’s birthday. But this morning I had a negative home pregnancy test. I am not too sure that I am really pregnant since I may just be off from stopping the pill last month and all, but I wouldnt have been upset if I was. I think Dean was a little disappointed too. I didnt even tell him I wasnt until he asked me when we were getting ready to head to church, I didnt want to tell him but he knew I had taken the test this morning. I have been wanting to get pregnant again, but I know until my health gets better its not a good idea, but sure would be glad if I was. I think we both would even though we’ve agreed to wait to actually start to try again. I just was hoping my symptoms were from that but its probably just my psuedo tumor stuff getting worse. Either way I could still use lots of prayers so I start feeling better soon, and since because of being sick and calling out I may lose my job soon, I am just waiting for them to come fire me, but day after day it doesnt happen. Guess all those prayers that we have been getting for that are getting answered!
Well I am off to snuggle in a warm bed and watch law and order and boomtown. Good night.
