As we drive down the roads that used to lead to the theater, to our old places of employment, to the hospital where I went once a week for months before staying to deliver the beautiful son we now have…I think. I think about the possiblities. I think that we’d still be going down these roads, most of them, to the same jobs, and to take Caleb to spend the day w/ his aunt and cousins while we work, to the same theaters to work after long days at work. I think of all the friendships left behind. We’ve been very busy this past week trying to get squeeze in time w/ everyone we miss so dearly. It’s been upsetting because some people we really wanted to see were either busy or for some reason just didnt want to make the time for us. Two of our old church group couples are now pregnant, while I was pregnant the whole time we met w/ them week after week and we would have been the first one w/ a baby in the group. It’s sad to know I wont be able to be there for them like they were for me.
It’s been a sad week of more goodbyes. For me though, I am trying to do my best to grow and find more closure before we leave. Next week I embark on being a working mom, again. I am glad to be able to have a chance to find myself through work and have an identity other than Caleb’s mom, even though I know it will be a teared filled morning on Monday when I have to leave my son. Luckily Dean will be home w/ him for awhile. We are going to put him in daycare part time until Dean goes back to work so he can get used to it and so Dean can have time to go to interviews. The next few weeks will be challenging for all in our family, as Dean adapts to being home and job seeking, as Caleb adapts to no mommy all day and daycare, and as I go to work and leave my baby to be in a strange place w/ new people.
He’s done a great job this past week as we drag him all over to see tons of people he doesnt remember, he was only 3 weeks old when we moved to Baltimore. Last night he actually slept through the night in his play pen. Which means he’s getting used to being here, which is bad cause we are leaving tomorrow. So it will probably be a few days before he gets back on schedule on home. Well we have more busy plans today, I just didnt want to leave things hanging here, especially when I’ve had so much time to think and so much to say. I’ll get more written down once I am back in the comfort of my own home. It’s been great getting away, but theres so much to be said for your own house and own bed!!! We’ll be back in a few days!
