Sunday and Monday came and went. And here it is another sad day in the life of a young pregnant mother. It is on days like today that I try very hard to remember why I wanted so badly to want to have a baby. The upside so far is the weightloss, yes a whopping 8 lbs in 12 weeks, not to shabby for someone who can't lose weight. The last time I lost weight was when I had my tonsils taken out. Damn I looked good after I recuperated. But now I have too much to lose to look that good again. But at this rate who knows. I attempted to go to work today, well, I was not even a minute away from my office and I had a bout with morning sickness that I will never forget. So seeing as I was opening this morning, I went to the office to wait for someone else to show up and then I told them I needed to go home and change my clothes, and take a good hot shower(again.) But by the time I got home the morning sickness had turned into some evil dragon and was not going to let me get to the tower to save myself or the baby so I gave up, called in sick to work and climbed into my comfy bed and slept the morning away. Tons of fun I tell you, this being pregnant stuff. We are supposed to go meet with our small group at church tonight, I was excited about going, but that was yesterday and today I am just determined to go and have a good time. So I have decided to stay in bed and watch tv until I build up enough energy to attempt getting out of the house again.......MEANWHILE..... my loving husband supports me with loving emails and phone calls and even in his abscence I can still feel him, or maybe it is just his dirty socks all over the floor that I am smelling!
This morning I slept in as late possible, I still am dealing with this dreadful bug, but there is hope, I was able to eat half a sandwhich and not die. Then we went shopping, seeing as I got lots of brithday money and right now I feel like I deserve lots of gifts for myself. So I went to Bath and Body works and got some lovely bath items so I can relax in a nice warm bath and forget all about being sick. We are also installing our used washer and dryer today! Wohoo! Now I can do laundry! Or rather, Dean can! So after we finish with the washer/dryer we are heading out again so I can get myself some more gifts, preferably a nice display case for my collectibles and a necklace , well Dean wants to get me a necklace, so heck, why not indulge him? After more shopping I hope to take a long bath and watch Mansfield Park. I'lll et you know how it is, but I am sure I will love it!
Well, I spent most of Friday sleeping, sleeping and sleeping. Turns out I have some sort of sinus infection or something. We had quite a scare late Thursday night when my temp went above 101 or something, it was awful. I called my drs emergency line and he called me back and said I need to keep drinking water or I'd end up in the er, about 6:30 Friday morning my temp dropped to 99.8 so I was doing a little better. I was finally able to down some drugs and a small bit of food. We spent the evening in watching movies. Keeping the Faith was really good, I was expecting a comedy, but it was more of a chic flick, but Dean didn't seem to mind. Then we watched Run Lola Run; some foreign subtitled fillm Dean read about in a magazine and just had to rent. For a subtitled film it wasnt too shabby, just had too much damn running! But it was very well done, if you can get through the first 15 minutes of it, it does really get better.
Last night after a nice dinner I came home and crashed. This pregnancy stuff wears you out. I was feeling even more worn out than usual and it didn't help when morning sickness hit me after we got home from dinner. So we went to bed early. I was unable to sleep for most of the night, I was cold, then hot, and my back hurt, then my head hurt. For the last hour before I was to get up my head hurt so bad I couldn't even sleep I just laid there with my eyes closed hoping to doze off. I got up eventually and felt even worse. I got a shower and not only did my headache not go away I got sick. I had been sneezing and coughing since yesterday but apparently it just got a lot worse. I called into work to complain and say I wouldnt be in. Then I called my ob/gyn to find out what medicine to take seeing as my regular dr isnt in on Thursday, and for some reason I always get sick on Thursday. So I headed back to bed to awaitt he drs call back. Dean is off of work today, we are getting a washer and dryer today for our new place. Which will be so much better than going to the laundrymat which is another whole story in itself. So he got up and ran his errands and still isnt back even though I had demanded lunch! Not to mention he is picking up my medicine from the doctor. So that is where we are. I am here and Dean is out and it is Jan 18th and this kid is making me miserable! But I hear it only gets worse when they are teeangers!
Yesterday I turned 22. And I was so proud of myself for being 22 and just now getting pregnant. All through high school there were girls who were having babies. I vowed never to be like that. I was a good girl afterall, well until senior year, at least. And year after year I congratulated myself on my ability to not have a child, now after I got married it somewhat angered me, but it was still nice to be young and childless. But I must admit it sure is nice to know that I at least have been married for two years + and am just now having a baby. There are so many people who miss out on the chance to get to know the man who gave them a child. And I must say Dean and I have had tons of time to get to know one another and enjoy being just us. So much so that now we are concerned a baby is going to change things, but as I can already see, the baby has just brought us even closer together, if that is possible!
So, on this past Monday, Jan 15, my mother in law, a friend of hers, Chris, and I went shopping. Seeing as Martin Luther King's Day only a holiday for some, the men in our lives all had to work. So we set out early to the outlet mall in Jeffersonville. We saw the cutest baby things at pottery barn and vowed to go back once we knew the sex of the baby. Then seeing as my birthday was coming up we set out to find a few things for me. We ended up in the maternity store bra shopping but it appears not only do regular stores not carry bras big enough for me, that other pregnant women must not be as big as me either! So instead I bought a few tops, which are simply adorable. I had decided it is silly to spend money on clothes that wont fit me in a month so I bought big. That is if I ever gain any weight anywhere other than in my chest! But mind you Dean is not complaining!
Well my bout with morning, lunch time and night time sickness is about enough to kill me. I went for 4 days without being able to eat or drink a thing. It wasnt fun, but that is the worse it has been. Since then the dr gave me drugs to take so I can hopefully eat. But since my first dr's visit, I have lost 5 lbs! Which isn't too bad cause I could afford to lose some weight, it's jus that I worry if the baby is getting enough of what it needs. But it seems that he/she is. On Jan 6th we went to get our second ultrasound since I was still so sick and having cramps. It was amazing! I was somewhat bummed because I couldnt see the monitor at all but Dean's look was comfort enough, he kept asking the technician questions and about drove her crazy. The extra frustrating thing was I was told to drink lots of water, it helps them see the baby or something, but she still had trouble so she had to do an internal ultrasound which requires no extra fluid intake. So here I was with a full bladder having to pee so bad and she wants to shove something in me! But it was all worth it when we came away with two pictures of our baby, i mean it really looked like a baby. She said she/he had a strong heartbeat and was bigger than she'd expected for it's age. Which is in turn why my cramps were so bad, the kid was growing and fast.
Then, on top of all the other new changes in our life we had been planning on moving out to our own place after Christmas. We started packing and we started moving our stuff out on Christmas weekend, but we didn't spend our first night at our new townhouse until December 29th. And believe me, never move when you are pregnant. I about drove Dean crazy. There is this thing, nesting, where moms must have the house clean and ready for the baby but you cant do that when you are moving, but I damn near tried. What will be the baby's room is just now somewhat operationable, it is still jam packed w/ unpacked boxes, but it is getting there. But believe me, the rest of the house is unpacked and is neat and tidy. Until Dean gets home!
Oh yeah, on December 7th we went to have our first ultrasound, the dr was concerned that all of my cramps and loss of weight meant miscarriage. So, we went expecting bad news but really got no news, it was too soon to tell if the baby was okay or not. But all of the blood tests they were doing kept reporting that my hcg level was rising consistently so the need to worry just diminished. The cramps came and went with little to no relief when I had them, but there was relief that I never had any bleeding. So apparently the baby was just growing fast.
Thanksgiving was great, I missed my family and got all homesick and stuff, but I felt great. The week after Thanksgiving I gave my two weeks notice at the daycare as I'd been offered a good paying job w/ great benefits at a doctors' office. I was doing great and the news of switching jobs took so much stress off of me, and I my usual bout w/ sickness stopped too. I was to start my new job on Dec. 13th. Well, then on November 29th I started getting really bad cramps, but I didnt get my period. Then on the 30th I started throwing up and the cramps got worse. Apparently I had the flu. But December came and I still was sick, and I still didnt have my period. So Saturday night we went and bought a pregnancy test and sure enough Sunday morning we found out we were pregnant. The first month we stop worrying about making a baby and it just happens. Then all of the sudden I realized that I'd have to tell my new employer and well then all the stress came back! A week before I start my new job I find out I am pregnant, I started to reconsider leaving the daycare but I was so sick that I realized I could never feel this way and take care of kids all day long let alone stand all day long. So I decided to keep the new job. The second day on the job my co-workers were trying to get to know me better and asked about my husband and if we had kids or if we were going to. At first I lied then being the good Christian girl I am I just blurted it out, I am pregnant now! They were so estatic. I told my boss that afternoon and she started rambling how she was about the have her first grandchild. So apparently I stressed for no reason. It was going to be ok.
Well, a little update, on November 14, 2000 I went to the hospital and got what they call an hsg test done. They poke and prod you and put you in terrible pain in an attempt to look inside at my ovaries, uterus and tubes. The whole procedure lasted only about 20 minutes, but afterward I felt raped almost. They warned me to expect slight to heavy bleeding for a day or two following the test. So I was bummed and wasn't in the greatest of moods. Except for the fact that the dr doing the procedure said so far everything looked fine but that he would send a report to my gyn. So there was slight relief, but I still had to wait a week for my gyn to tell me I was perfectly able to have kids. But I had taken the day off of work because a very good friend of mine warned me how invasive the test was. So having had dragged along Dean, we went to enjoy a nice lunch out and then I went home and relaxed. We spent the day bonding and the evening enjoying ourselves(if you know what I mean) because we now knew that there was nothing stopping us from having kids. And we had been told that there is a higher risk of pregnancy the month or two after having such a test because it clears out any slight blockages that may have been preventing pregnancy. So now that we know there was nothing stopping us we resolved not to keep trying but let the baby thing happen on it's on. I went on to look for a new job and stopped worrying about making a baby. So that night was one of the most carefree nights we had. (at least for me!)
