Wisdom from my walk

The ultrasound. I was really nervous, yet so excited that we might find out if the baby was going to be a Caleb Richard or Brynn Marie. I tried to think about that so I wouldnt worry about anything else. I hated it at first because she kept saying , do you see the hand, the feet and I couldnt see a darn thing, or at least I couldnt make it out on the screen. Dean was so excited and kept telling me where it was on the screen. But eventually I got used to it and it was unbelievably. The best part, for me, I dont think Dean would get this, well cause the baby’s not in him. Well the baby flipped over completely and I almost cried, cause here I am watching on a screen and didnt feel a darn thing in my uterus move. But there the baby was kicking and moving his hands like crazy. It was unreal, like I was watching a baby in someone elses stomach. The tech said she had an idea if it was a boy or girl and I told her not to say if she wasnt sure. So she did this thing to test how much blood was going that part of the body and said you could see the blood flow to the umbilical cord, well I am sure Dean saw the cord but I couldnt distinguish it, I just wanted to know if it was a boy or girl. Then she showed us how there was no blood flow from the cord to a part sticking out between the baby’s legs and sure enough that meant to her it was going to be Caleb Richard McKenzie, just like I’d thought all along. Dean didnt seem to thrilled, I think it is a lot to deal with in one day and I know I was amazed at all we had seen that morning. He had all his fingers and toes and kidneys, and heart, and he was swallowing the fluid the way he should. And his spine was miraculous! Just the way we could see him was miraculous. I thank God for giving someone the skills and wisdom to create such a machine that can help us know that our babies are ok in there. I mean I pray every day for God to protect our little one and to help him grow and develop and for him to be strong, but I do that because I know I cant do anything about it, sure I eat well and rest like I should but in reality it is God creating this life, just with a little help from me every now and then. And well Dean helped in the beginning but now he just gets to wait to see what we get when we mix me with him and a lot of miracles in between.

So we go to the drs appt with my ob, the best ob in the world I might add. He is so thoughtful and caring. The first thing he did was ask how I was then immediately he checked for the baby’s heartbeat. More relief, there was Dean’s favorite whoosh, whoosh sound! I almost cried, but I tried my best to keep my compusure since I still didnt know why I had been bleeding. So the doc tells us it might be placenta previa, something about the placenta being in the wrong place and tells us all the possibilities of what happens if it is that, worst of all is that we cant have sex if it is that! I was mad about that one, but if I helps the baby then I will survive for 4 mos!! Anyway… So he tells us all about that and then says if it isnt that then it is probably nothing and we will just watch to see if it happens again. We were like ok, thinking nothing was majorly wrong because the way he describes it all it is just like the common cold and you’ll live. So as we go to leave he says I need to be on bedrest for 48 hours! Doh! I was kind of glad because I really hadnt felt like going to work that day anyway but to have to miss Friday and Saturday too was a little much. Then he says we need to get an ultrasound today or tomorrow, which suprised us because until then we didnt think it was such a big deal, but he was stressing how important it was for the u/s. So, luckily Dean had the day off til 1 and it was only 10 so we went to the hospital to get the ultrasound, after stopping at Burger King for a quick bite to eat. The baby was hungry!

Wednesday night while at work, I had a little scare, ok a big one. I started spotting when I when to the bathroom, it was around 5:00 and I was just waiting for Dean to pick me up from work. Luckily there was a nurse left at the office and she told me to call my ob so I did, although I thought it was silly since I already had an appt scheduled for Thursday morning. The nurse at the ob office said she would tell the dr and call me back. So I waited… and she called back and told me to go home and rest and to go to the ER if the spotting and/or cramps got worse. But what did I do? I went to rehearsal for Our Town anyway, I mean, all I had to do was sit in a chair with my feet up reading lines. But I was really worried about it and going to rehearsal helped get it off of my mind. Until I got home and laid in bed trying to fall asleep and then I worried tons more. But I made it through the night and there was no more bleeding or cramps so I was somewhat relieved.

Work has been so slow lately. I work in a drs office and we used to have 6 doctors but since I started we have had 3 leave, so we have 3 drs none of which work a full time schedule so it is so boring. We were scared we would get fired since there isn’t much work to do somedays, but next door to our office is another drs office owned by our same company and they are starting to send me over there to work part time. It’s nice cause right now I work in an internal medicine office (same as family practice basically except we don’t see kids) and the other office is a family medicine office so I will be getting a lot more experience. I had a dream last night that I was a nurse, right now I just work the front office, but in my dream they were training me the back office nurse stuff and I really liked it. But it’s been soo slow at work lately that it almost seems like I’d rather not being working there or just working half days so the things I need to do get done and then when I am done with my job I can go but it doesnt work that way, and plus I need money. But I must say it’s been a lot less stressful and I am sure that helps the baby.

Well, sorry it’s been a few weeks, but I must say it’s been a nice few weeks. I am finally over the morning sickness! WOHOO! I even gained a pound, at last count I lost 15 lbs since I found out I was pregnant but since I have gained back 3 lbs. I even have my appetite back. It is great! If it weren’t for constantly having to pee and staying up most of the night, I wouldn’t even know I was pregnant. It’s now 17 weeks, and my stomach is noticeable, but not too much – I can tell but I doubt anyone else can. Dean’s birthday was this weekend, the third. On Friday we went to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, it was great, even with the subtitles. I read a article on it and thought no way, how can all those things be in that movie, it said it was a mix of a fairy tale, a western, and a martial arts film, but it was all of thoset things and even had romance. It was great, we’d recommend it to anyone. Then on Saturday night we went to see Lebanon Theater Company’s Mornings at Seven. It was okay, the set was great but the acting left a little to be desired. And on Sunday we went to church, then met with some couples from our small group at TGIFridays. They told the waitress it was Dean’s birthday and they kept bringing him balloons, the waitresses tied them in his ponytail but the waiters just put them on his wrist. It was hilarious. Speaking of Dean, he may be going to Scranton PA for 3 months, without me! But the company will fly him home every other weekend and he gets paid overtime for his travel time and they pay for all expenses. We should know for sure by the end of the week if he goes and when. I will miss him so and it will make scheduling dr appointments hard as he has gone and wants to go to all my ob visits, but we will work around it. As long as his doesnt miss the next sonogram I will be fine with it. Well we are heading out to rehearsal for Our Town with Mason Community Players.

I’ve been struggling with chest pains now for the last week and yesterday they got really bad, and seeing as I work with drs I had a nurse take my blood pressure and it was through the roof. They told me to call my ob and I did and they told me to the ER. I was a wreck. I hate hospitals, I dont even really like going to the dr. But my chest hurt so bad, so I called Dean to come get me and we drove to the ER. We waited a good hour or two then finally got seen. They took chest xrays and did an ekg and examined me, kind of. I was frustrated because they did nothing to check on the baby. They said since my complaints were from my chest up that the baby would be fine. It ended up being pleurisy, which is an inflammation in your lung wall. They said there is nothing I can do but take Tylenol and get plenty of rest. And of course, drink plenty of fluids. So after four hours in the ER I got sent home to be miserable. The evening was made even worse because it was opening night of Dean’s show and he had to miss it. I felt so bad for him, and he will never know how much it meant to me to have him with me at the ER and then to have the evening to spend with him cuddled up on the couch watching TV. He is already a great husband, I can’t wait to see him be a great father. He is still more excited about the baby than I am, but then again he hasnt been sick for 3+ months either, which is good because he will have another 6 months to keep up his energy so he can take care of the baby because by the time it is born I know I will need a nice long rest!!! It’s been a long three months, but when I felt that flutter the other day it was all worth it. I go to the ob on Friday and I am kind of anxious, with me being so sick and losing so much weight we can only pray the baby is fine, but even with the weight loss my belly continues to pop out!! More news later……….

Well, it’s been a rough few weeks, and here it is, about 3 and a half months into our pregnancy. I think I felt the baby move on Thursday, it was strange, at first I thought I just had an upset stomach but it went away then a little later I felt something strange again in my stomach. I just forgot about it until on Friday when it was much stronger feelings and I actually had to sit down, I thought it was a cramp or something and one of the girls at work asked if I was ok and I told her that my stomach felt strange. She said it was probably the baby moving. Apparently between 3 and a half and 4 months you start to feel “flutters” of movement. It’s hard to describe how it felt, but I really do think it was the baby.