Wisdom from my walk

I had the best night’s sleep, it was almost as if I wasn’t pregnant. I only had to get up once to go to the bathroom, and usually I am up and down all night. And then I didnt wake up all this morning until the alarm went off for Dean to get up. Then I went back to sleep and didnt get up til the phone just rang a little bit ago. And the funny thing is last night we went to bed early, well early for us, around 11, and I kept complaining that I wasnt tired and it was too early to go to sleep since I could sleep in today, but I laid down anyway since Dean was going to bed and I was out until 3 or so and then I fell back to sleep til the alarm woke me. I think maybe all that stress from yesterday must have really worn me out and I didnt even realize it.

Funny thing is the day before Dean had said he had the best night’s sleep ever, so maybe our bodies are letting us rest up now before Caleb comes. I had a dream about my water breaking last night though, I wonder if that was before I woke up to go to the bathroom or after? I was relaying our story about all the baby excitement/worry that we had yesterday to people and I think they got as worried as we had been then and I think a little frustrated that we didnt tell them sooner, mostly our parents were worried and frustrated but I told my friend Stacey and she was in shock, I guess she didnt really realize we would be having a baby that soon. Well and I told her quite frankly I was so worried yesterday because I knew I just wasnt ready to have Caleb yet.

I started to buy the things to make a baby scrapbook, I think it would be more special than buying one , that and I can do it like I want. But Dean is worried I will not know how to do it and waste money on it, but I got a great deal on supplies for it, and it shouldn’t be too hard, afterall I do have somewhat of a creative bone in me. So I think I may work on doing that today. Since we have had so many ultrasounds I have about a zillion u/s pics and I am not sure where we will put those, for now I have them in a little photo album since we have no other baby pics to put in it. I dont think I will put the u/s pics in the scrapbook though, well maybe one or two but not all since we have so many. So aside from that I have no plans for today, since Stacey has to postpone her trip until next week so I dont even have to get the house ready or anything.

Dean will be home early today! So maybe we will find something fun to do. He has a job interview this afternoon, Good luck honey! I know he will do great, but we dont think it will pay as much as he makes now, but he would love to have this job so I think we need to consider all the options because I always have switched jobs even for less money, without questioning it just so I’d be happy but since he makes so much more than me it is harder, especially with Caleb coming. So it’s been easy for me to switch jobs because we dont rely on my income for much but extra spending but his, well we need it, but I think we could cut out some frills and then he’d be able to get out of his dead end job that he hates. I am hoping the interveiew goes well, and that he comes through feeling good about it, I know it must be hard for him to go on an interview for a job he really would love but to know in the back of his mind becuase of his wife and son to be that he may not be able to take it. But I think we can maybe work things out if he really wants it and if they pick him. I’ll be praying for you sweetie!!!!

Well, things went well at the dr. Apparently Caleb is doing just fine, it was so strange because I could see him move but I couldn’t feel it. I dont think the technician believed me, but apparently my placenta is in a different place and it is cushioning his movements so I was thinking he wasnt moving but I could see him moving plain as day. It was the strangest thing cause he was flailing away with arms and legs and yet I couldnt even feel a nudge! But point is he is doing great! So no need to worry about him coming this weekend, unless of course he decides he wants to but I doubt it cause he looked awful comfy in there!

Dean was so excited because he hasnt been in a while with me and he was so amazed at seeing all the movements, especially him sucking and wiggling his fingers. He was so cute, he was such a proud daddy! Only bad thing we found out is that the baby is already 6 lbs, 5 ounces which is pretty large for only 34 weeks. But if he did decide to come early at least he’d be able to hold his own. He was even practicing his breathing again, and that is a great sign that he is doing well.

So I guess I can take my hospital bag out of the car until next week! I didnt realize that if at any of the ultrasounds he isnt moving enough that they would schedule a stress test and pending the results of that they may induce me. So I guess it was good I didnt know that but now that I do I may just keep my bag in the car in case they decide he needs to come early.

So I have decided to keep tomorrow as my day off even though all of my appointments are cancelled now because I saw both my ob and the specialist today. I had to use paid time off for today so if I do work tomorrow I would end up with more than 40 hours so I mine as well keep my day off since we cant get overtime. I called work to let them know what was going on and Karen said they were mad at me because they thought I forgot to call but I told her I just got done and called her as soon as I knew something and she was okay with that, but she said they have been talking about me and waiting for me to call with news! It’s nice to know they cared, but I feel bad because she said they are very busy, but oh well……it’s nice to know I am worth something at work, and it wont kill them to have to work as hard as I do all the time.

It’s been a busy and stressful morning already, and it is only 10 am! I woke up and checked my sugar, it was 173, it is supposed to be 100 or less in the morning. So I got upset about that and then I noticed that Caleb was not moving around, I thought maybe he was still sleeping, but after I got ready for work and was dressed and he still hadn’t budged I thought something might be wrong. I checked my sugar again, 185! It kept going up and up. It got as high as 199! So I left for work a few minutes early so I could ask a nurse what I should do but I got there and the nurses were all late this morning and by that time I could call my ob. So I asked a nurse first and she said it was probably the pie I had eaten, which didnt make any sense because that was at 10 pm the night before and my sugar was low at the time. But then I realized it probably was my own fault, but Caleb still hadn’t moved so I was really panicked because the specialist told me to call my ob whenever I couldn’t count 10 movements w/in two hours. Right when I called I felt Caleb kick a tiny kick, but it had been almost 3 hours since I’d been up and about so that was not a good sign. So I ended up leaving work, going to the ob and hearing Caleb’s steady heartbeat, thank God!

And I had my first internal exam since way back when, and he said I was barely dilated but that my cervix was soft. He said he was going to send me to get my usual ultrasound work up today and if Caleb wasnt doing well that he may induce labor!!! He said that is why they did an internal exam to see where I was and if I was dilated at all. But if Caleb is fine on the u/s then he will just bring back in next week to get checked. But my blood pressure was up too, 140/84 so I know that isn’t a good thing either. I am debating whether I call my mom and tell her but I’ve decided there is no need to worry her when it may just be nothing, maybe Caleb is just tired, or lazy. So I have my u/s this afternoon at 1:15 and if it goes badly we may have Caleb before the weekend is through, so I am hoping he does well. But since I have gone to the dr and come home he is moving around a lot more. But nonetheless I am going to take a nap just in case I get stuck at the hospital for the rest of the day. I’ll update as soon as I know what is happening with Caleb, but I have faith that he will be staying put at least another week or so, or so I hope…….

Well, it was a very “free” day for us today. We did just about nothing. We did do dinner with Dean’s parents and then headed to Ann’s parents house to swim and light firecrackers. It was a lot of fun to just be with a few friends and family instead of being crowded with tons of other people staring at bright flashing lights.

I have this horrible comfort problem lately, I can’t seem to sit forward for more than a second or two or Caleb kicks and moves in protest and not to mention I can’t breathe well if I sit forward. It’s like he is just sitting there taking my breath away. So tonight during dinner we were eating outside and the air was already humid and thick so it was tough to breath, and I was trying to lean up to the table to eat and I had to keep taking a break and sit back and breathe. It was quite frustrating. I almost have to sit straight up with my shoulders back all of the time or else I feel so much pressure in my ribs and chest. But aside from that and more morning sickness, or so that is what we think I am feeling ill from, I feel pretty good. Tired but okay.

Hope everyone had a great holiday today! I thoroughly enjoyed the quality time I had with my wonderful husband!!!!

We entertained my in laws for dinner last night and it was quite nice. We always go to their house and eat and just sit around relax but they hardly ever come over our house. So it was nice. My father in law go to see the finished nursery finally, and they only live 3 minutes away! After dinner we went to my sister in laws for a birthday party for our “new” neice, Dean’s sister got remarried in January so we acquired a new niece and nephew then. I almost fell asleep in their comfy recliner so we came home early, then I did fall asleep while Dean sat and played online.

And we spent this morning sleeping in, so we have been quite lazy. We did clean the house though, since Stacey is coming to visit this weekend. But that is about it. We have no plans to celebrate the holiday today, which is strange because if we were home, in Baltimore, we’d be fighting to decide which party to go to, seeing as both sides of my family have annual Fourth Of July get togethers. So it is kind of sad to be sitting around doing nothing when my family is all partying, but oh well. I couldnt quite make the trip home anyway now, especially with so little time left til Caleb arrives. So it is kind of a depressing day, especially since it is raining here! So it’s not like a cook out or party would be too fun anyway.

Oh well, it is nice to have time to relax with Dean though……he’s so caring and is doing such a good job of being patient with me when I always need to nap or go to the bathroom fifty times if we are out somewhere. Poor Dean! I am sure he will be happy when I am not pregnant anymore…..and I know I will be happy then too!! So come on Caleb……..

I got myself out of bed and to work this morning, although I bearly made it. I almost turned around half way to work becuase I felt so bad, but I made myself go, I figured if anything I’ll go and have them check my bp to see how it was. So I got there and had the nurse check my bp and it was 122/74 which is fine and my sugar was only a little up so I thought I’d be fine, if only the awful morning sickness feeling would have worn off. So I had a lot to get done at work, despite the fact I worked Saturday and got a lot done then too. So I told myself I would see how I felt after getting all my goals done for the day, so lunch time rolled around and I was just about done everything I had to get done before tomorrow and I still felt pretty bad, not to mention my stress level was up because I was having it out with one of the drs and a patient even had the gall to curse and yell at me today so I decided it was either go home and relax or risk having a nervous breakdown or causing pre-term labor. So here I am in the comfort of my nice quiet home, no drs, no patients, no stress. And my nice comfy bed! So I am vowing to myself to spend the afternoon propped up in bed with a book, or actually napping. I kind of am mad at myself I mean I work 5 hours, I probably could have worked the next 3 but I really was in a bad mood and after the last incident that made me so furious with the one dr I knew I’d better get out of there before I made myself either sicker or fired!

I called my dr this morning to see what they had to say about how I’ve been feeling and they think it is just a bug but that if I start to not be able to keep foods down to call them right away. They told me to do my best to eat at least a little something and keep in fluids. But I really have no appetite and the more I drink the more I end up in the bathroom, ah, pregnancy. So they weren’t too concerned really, but they said to watch my sugars closely and to call if anything changes. And since my blood pressure (bp) was fine there wasnt much concern over my huge swollen ankles and fingers. So I have pretty much put myself on bed rest mainly to keep myself sane and so I wont be so exhausted. Oh well….work was very understanding and one of the girls told me to just sit down and relax and not worry about some of the stuff that she could do it, but I still ended up doing all of my work for the day and then even some from tomorrow since half of the office goes on vacation starting tomorrow through next Monday. So I figured I’d better rest up now cause it is going to be one of those weeks…….

We had plans to go to a cook out at one of the couple’s from our small group from church’s house this evening and when we showed up I could see the baby shower sign in the window and just the other day, when Dean told me there was a cook out today, I laughed and said something smart about a baby shower, jokingly of course. So it was ironic that that is what they had planned. We got our car seat! Yipee! Now we can have Caleb and bring him home from the hospital! That is such a relief, honestly because I was getting worried about not having everything we needed. The only bad thing was I was not feeling well and didn’t want to eat and they had gone to great lengths to have lots of great food. So I felt horrible about that. Not to mention I was downright exhausted, but I made it through and they were great about my not feeling well. Caleb is so blessed with so many people that love him and they havent even laid eyes on him yet !

On a more negative note: Why is it I always have good dr’s appointments then a day or two later am feeling awful? Today we went to lunch with friends and after we were at the restaurants just long enough to order our lunches I felt quite ill. I thought if I ate something it would go away, so I munched on appetizers. That only made it worse, and I ended up getting sick in the ladies room! I thought morning sickness was supposed to end months ago! Then I got even more worried because my ankles have swollen to about 3 times their size and I couldnt get my rings off, when I had just tested this morning to make sure I could. So I was sure something was really wrong. But of course, now I am feeling okay, just a mild tummy ache, but still very swollen ankles and fingers. So I am debating whether to take part of tomorrow off, maybe go in late? But that wont help anything but maybe I’d be able to rest? Oh well, I’ll probably go to work anyway, at least then I can have them check my bp and have the dr take a look at my ankles just to see what she says. If I am lucky they will send me home! But what are the chances of that? I mean it is a Monday and it will already be a short week because of the holiday…….oh well, I think I’ll go take a nice bath and hopefully the swelling will go down after I get off my feet for a while.

First though, another funny thing about our lunch plans, we were at a restuarant I’d never been to before so now I wonder if I’ll ever want to go again, and the couple we were with was so concerned about me. Dennis even asked if it would help if he stopped eating since he was sitting across from me, meanwhile Dean ate away and picked at my food! It was just funny how worried Dennis was and how used to my being ill Dean was. I mean I know Dean cared but he knows that there usually isnt anything he can do to help but to be there for me, and that is all I really needed, but it was cute to see how concerned our friends were. It’s so nice to have great friends like that! So despite how bad I felt today, I had so many great friends around that were there to take care of me that it was bearable, and well it turned out to be a very nice day, despite the getting sick and all……but once you’ve been pregnant this long I think it just comes with the territory, the being sick part I mean.