Wisdom from my walk

well the LP was an experience. The dr poked one too many times, the first time he got the wrong spot and it hurt like heck to put it nicely, someone probably thought someone was in labor I yelled so loudly so many times! he finally got the needle in and the pressure was only 26 which isnt too bad, a little higher than norm but for my normal readings pretty good. So he thinks it’s just migraine headaches, but immediately after the spinal I felt more clearheaded, and despite some nagging headaches the longer I sit upright I’m doing ok. so I am to call him in a few days and see what the plan is. He thinks w/ the 2nd trimester things will get better and I’m not far from that as this is week 11 of pregnancy for me!! So lets hope he’s right. It was a rough experience for me today and I almost wish I hadnt done it except for the peace of mind about what my pressure is. So I really am supposed to be in bed, but felt obliged to my readers to let you know what was going on, that I hate bedrest!!! Dean is not here so he’s not forcing me in bed, but I’m sure tomorrow he wont let me out of bed so I thought I’d get in my puter time while I can!! but back to bed rest for now!!!

I am going nuts! doggy poop all over, cicadas all over, toddler poop all over!!! blah!!!! and lets not even mention the spinal tap I”m dreading this afternoon! Word of advice: do not let your puppy eat cicadas. we awoke to diarrhea all over our living room. I got it cleaned up while the dog was out, eating more cicadas no doubt, and she came in and pooped in calebs room after having been outside for a little while even. I’m going to lose my mind! cleaning that up w/ morning sickness is no picnic. now the house smells like cleaners and air fresheners! blah! A true to form manic monday for me!!! hope everyone else is doing well, I’ll update about the spinal tap as soon as I am allowed upright, I’m getting it done today at 3:30.

well my appt went ok. the dr says my eyes look fine, the optic nerve swelling is not any worse. He feels like my headaches are migraines, he has been saying this for months. I cant imagine the pain being this bad and just regular migraines. I swear my head felt like it was gonna explode and it was as bad as it was w/ the meningitis. he did agree to do a spinal tap just to find out if the pressure is up. My concern was my eyes may look ok but the pressure can still be up. and of course there is no easy way to find out if the ptc is back w/out a spinal. Of course today my headache is minimal, so if it’s not too bad tomorrow I will probably cancel the spinal for now. he wanted me to try to make it past the first trimester to see if after the headaches got better, but I dont think I could take more weeks of this pain! So like I said if I make it through today and tomorrow w/ less of a headache then I probably will call and cancel the tap but if the headaches are just as bad then I’m going to have the spinal tap and we’ll see what the pressure is. If the pressure is normal then I go on migraine meds if it’s not we figure out what ptc meds are safe for pregnancy. I just want to feel better, and if having to get a spinal tap to figure out what is wrong is what it takes then thats fine w/ me.

well I am babysitting today, so today will be a true test of how I feel. i’ll let you know how things go….

just when you think your day couldnt get much worse: you just enjoyed a nice soft serve ice cream w/ your son at the ice cream shoppe and to top it off, the growing child inside of you tells you it didnt like that ice cream as much as you did, and causes your stomach to do turns and flips, luckily you manage to not throw up at the ice cream shoppe. Upon leaving the shoppe you are met w/ the hot of the bright sun outside, to which your son requests you put the “fan” on in the car for him. Ready set go! Right into the rearend of another parked car in the parking lot of the ice cream shoppe. That splitting headache you’ve had all day comes back w/a vengeance as you get the child out of the car back into the hot sun to investigate the damage. There must have been an angel standing between you and that parked car, because the dent you think you caused on the car you become informed was already there!!! no other damage on either car to be seen, other than your broken pride.

on the way out of the parking lot again your son braces himself and says hit car again, luckily you dont do a repeat and make it safely to the grocery store, all through which your son talks about your hitting the car.

I think it’s just one of those days, weeks, for me! I just want to crawl into bed and sleep it off for a long long time……..

Update: while you type this your son comes into the room soaking wet, when asked why he informs you he was splashing in the potty water! he and the dog are wet…….AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

The weather out is beautiful! This week they are calling for true summer weather! my son wakes up at 6:30 everyday asking to go outside to play. Now I’m sure thats not too unusual for his age and being a boy, but I’m just not built for this kind of get up and go. So thinking it was wise to head to the park before the sun started sweltering us, we headed out early to the playground and for a walk. Great idea, right? we took the pup w/ us which makes it hard for me to keep up w/ both of them, but it’s not fair for the dog to stay home. So we went to the playground, and in my attempt to stop Stella(the pup) from running away, I had briefly let go of the leash, I ran down from the slide set I was on w/ caleb and somehow fell pretty badly. Luckily our dog is compassionate and when she saw I was hurt she ran to me and licked me and stayed by my side long enough for me to regrab the leash. I am pretty knocked up, ha thats funny, no really, maybe I should say scratched up, and achy. I am not sure what is my problem. I am very prone to accidents lately, must be off balance w/ the pregnancy but it’s bad. Not to mention my head has felt like it’s been about to explode almost every day. Today is far worse though. I also had some vision problems after making it home from the park which lasted for at least 15 minutes, I actually fell alseep on the couch while Caleb watched tv for a little while, thats how crappy I feel. It’s early in the day, I am just hoping I’ve worn Caleb out enough that we can both nap well later. I am eager to talk to the neurologist to see what he thinks is going on, but at the same time I dont want to get a spinal tap, although right now my head hurts so badly I think it might help. I always know when something is wrong when I start wanting a spinal tap. Please pray for me!!!

I gave myself a mothers day gift, since my hubby failed to, and bought flowers last night to fill the window boxes on our deck. I am glad to finally see colors and beauty out there where the empty window boxes had been. We also got sand to fill up Calebs sandbox. Thats a first. for the past 2 years we’ve used it for water, the sandbox, since caleb was little. But this year I figured he deserved a real sandbox and he loves it. Now we just need a pool! In my dreams I know, but we dont even have friends closeby w/ one, so this summer is gonna stink!!! Oh well, maybe we’ll get rich soon and be able to afford something!

well I need to rest my achy head but like that will happen. I”m hoping a little lunch will help, but not counting on it. Hope everyone is enjoying this great weather. Tomorrow Caleb and I are going to see Milkshake at the flowermart downtown. Ought to be fun. I’ll get links to those pages places, cant figure it out right now. If anyone local is going and wants to meetup let me know!!! I always went to the flowermart w/ our sitter when I was a kid, so I am glad to be a stay at home mom so I can take my son. building traditions is always a good thing!!

Unfortunately my son is learning at a young age to take advantage of his mother. Today as I put him down for nap he asked me what I was going to do. I told him I was going to take a nap too because I was tired. He said no you have to do dishes first! So thanks to him and the horrible day I had yesterday, the dishes will remain in the sink, dirty. The dishwasher will NOT get emptied by me and heck I am not even touching the laundry. I am taking today off. Yes, this may sound extreme, but I cant pretend to be supermom anymore. I am too sick most of the time to being doing all of the things I do that go unnoticed as is, so I think I’ll just stop doing them until it gets noticed. In the process I am sure I will drive myself nuts w/a dirty house but oh well we’ll see who gets the point. I am sorry if this makes some of you upset who may make homemaking your job, but there has to be a line between doing things because your love your family and to take care of your home and killing yourself doing them because you physically cant keep it up anymore. Sometimes even stay at home moms need help doing there job and unfortunately we’re not allowed sick days and most times we cant even delegate jobs or if we do we get an earful about it. I love being a stay at home mom and I love taking care of my family but like I said, my health is getting in the way again and it’s either my health and that of this baby or a clean house. I think I”m going to try to give in to the health issue for as long as I can stand a disorderly house, which I know for me, the obssessive compulsive cleaner, wont be long!!

More than likely a combo of pregnancy hormones and getting depressed by feelilng so sick, but I”m in a rut and have no willpower to push myself out….so wont be around for a little while. Have an appt w/ the neuro on Thursday, not looking forward to finding out what comes next, but if it helps me feel better I guess I’ll do it. Please pray for me and my family as I deal w/ these stressors that are getting too overwhelming for me.