Wisdom from my walk

it’s sad enough that teens feel like they cant share that they are pregnant with their parents, then some crazy folks go and do this, I hope she goes on to have a beautiful, smart  and successful child despite the circumstances of his/her life once he/she is born.  I do beleive every child is a miracle, and while unplanned or even unwanted, God created the child all the same.   Sadly some people just arent cut out to be good parents.

I’d like to think it’s because the new medicine I am taking is helping.  I only felt fatigue halfway through the day yesterday as opposed to first thing upon wakening.  This morning I was up and ready to take Caleb to school, and was planning on walking w/all the boys but the process of getting everyone ready made us late so Dean dropped Caleb off.  but since we were ready to go I took the little ones on a short walk then came home and fed them breakfast.   After a bottle and playing some, Zeke was ready for a nap.  While he’s been napping I’ve been cleaning up some, doing laundry and playing w/ Bo.  Currently I’m sitting out on our deck typing this while Bo plays in the water table and our lunch heats up inside.  After lunch Bo will nap and inevitably Zeke will wake up for his lunch.  Then I’m hoping to put away baskets full of laundry.   I’m tired but not as much as I was a week ago.   Still in some pain, but again not nearly as unbearable as last week so there’s hope that things could continue to improve, which is great!!  I’ve got a very busy week ahead, this is the only day this week I’ll be at home all day and I’m taking advantage of it by trying to get some reorganizing and cleaning done.  I’m also trying hard to work on things with Bo, he’s really behind developmentally and I’m afraid it’s my fault.  With caleb I had all day to read to him, do flash cards, draw, paint…whatever I could with him but poor Bo has had to suffer through entertaining himself while I was sick and unable to play and then while I tend to Zeke.  Hoping with a better routine there will be more days like today, while Zeke naps I play and interact just with bo, albeit I have gotten some chores done too…well sounds like the timer on the stove is going off and Bo’s dumping chalk all over the deck…back to work…

Bo was extremely bad this morning, from the time he woke up, which isnt too abnormal for him…BUT…

the highlight of my morning  was while I was feeding Zeke a bottle Bo sat next to me on the couch with a bowl of chex mix and a sippy cup.   I thought it was going to be that way for a few minutes so was glad to have a break in keeping up with Bo. BUT next thing I know his bowl is gone, but there’s chex mix all over the sofa next to me.  No biggie, I figured I’d clean it up later, nothing to stress over.  Then he comes to me and says BOWL plain as day, which is odd because the kid never uses real words.  I said in a minute when I’m done feeding zeke, since I didnt know where his bowl was as is.  So he comes back from the kitchen w/ a bowl full of pancake syrup.   In my attempt to put Zeke down and grab the bowl it inevitably spilled on the carpet.  My biggest suprsise, other than that he got out the syrup and poured it himself, was that it was now all over the kitchen floor.  We have been shopping at Sams club, so last time I got a huge thing of syrup, remind me NEVER to do that again.  half of the bottle was all over the floor.   Zeke screamed the whole time I tried to clean up Bo’s mess( he also screamed since i put him in time out in his room so I could clean it up without him making more problems) since I had to stop feeding him his bottle.

the kids are finally napping at the same time right now so I showered but after I got out of the shower the smoke detector went off, needless to say Zeke is no longer asleep. I am hoping Bo still is.

seems like something else happened this morning with Bo but I cant remember, the syrup incident takes the cake though so I could do without any other messes today!! OH…now I remember…the basement is leaking!!!   not too badly but enough to annoy me.  how can you sell a house that you cant guarantee has a waterproof basement?  ugh and we have no money to invest in waterproofing.

had my first dental exam and xrays in quite a long time today.  I need to call and schedule getting all of my wisdom teeth pulled, and I have an appt next week and the following week to get old fillings refilled and one new small cavity filled.   then after all of that and after getting the teeth pulled, several appointments for deep cleanings.  apparently one of the meds I am on puts me at more risk for gum problems, as if I needed any more risks for anything!   I am hoping getting the teeth pulled makes the jaw pain I’ve been having go away, go figure here I thought it was just another mysterious symptom ,but  maybe it might make the facial tingling go away too!!  😉

I wrote an entry about my feelings and memories from 9/11/01. But instead I would like to post about the good memories that I’ve had in the last few weeks. For this child always brings me joy, even on days when I feel my worse. He smiles and laughs at just about everything. Today he was more fussy than usual, but nothing some cuddling and a pacifier couldnt cure. We think the fussiness and loads of drool means the beginning of teething, but even so he’s still very pleasant. He just seems to be having trouble falling asleep as easily as he used to.
click on the more entry for pics from our trip to Ohio. Continue reading →

We got home safely on Tuesday from our trip.  Had my u/s on Wednesday, found out nothing I didnt already know.  I go back in two weeks to talk to my dr about treatment, good news is she did say she didnt think I’d need surgery.   But the other option is meds, meds I am already not taking because they make me really sick.  So we’ll see if there are any other options at that appointment.   Saw my regular dr today, after forcing myself to clean all morning so I can earn some money.   After a tearfilled talk with my doctor she said it was time to try some medicine and see if it helps and to go see a rheumatologist.  Hopefully the meds help and the dr too!  We hadnt started any meds before because she didnt think they’d really help but with things getting so much worse and my not being able to function again without being in pain or falling asleep all the times, well I just cant sit around and wait to wake up feeling 100%.   I start the medicine tomorrow, should take a week or 3 to kick in.   I have to clean again tomorrow, hoping I can get a good nights sleep tonight so I can manage tomorrow.

just wanted to check in.  the move to Ohio has been stalled, Dean’s sent his resume tons of places today so we’re praying somethings pans out.   The guy who forwarded his info and resume to the folks at his current company at the new office in Ohio was equally as suprised as Dean was that they couldnt use him there yet, and is waiting to hear back from someone else at the Cincy office to see if they could use Dean.   So while the timeline has changed, the plan is to still move to Ohio within the next year if not a lot sooner.

chores to be done and sleep to be had….probably wont update for a few days or a week. sorry!  I was out all day yesterday and today and tomorrow will be the same.  The next few weeks hold more doctors appointments, at least I wont have to pay copays, but I will need to find a sitter quite a few times.   I hate having to but I just cant take them with me, it’s hard enough taking them w/ me when I go to clean.    but there’d be little point in paying someone to watch them to make the little amt of money I am to clean.

well gotta get to work so I can get to bed sometime soon.  have a good weekend!

Life is never dull at the McKenzie home. We fought w/ the squirrel some more last night, put some “food” up there where he was chewing in hopes he’d go away for good. but the darn thing we just as persistent today. before fixing the roof the other day the contractor went into our attic and made sure there were no animals. We’ve never heard any animals and he said he saw none so he fixed the holes and that was that. This evening I heard what i thought was a baby bird, but after I realized the squirrel wasnt going away even when I tried to make it and the noises from the baby were louder, I began to worry there was a baby in our attic, baby squirrel that is. So when Dean got home I made him listen and he went up and couldnt see the baby either but definitely could hear it up there. So he went out and tore up our new gutters and such to get out the squirrel. In his attempt to not touch the squirrel in case the mom would know he did and not want it, he somehow was scooping the baby into a box while on the ladder on the roof, and the squirrel fell. for a while it appeared dead, but shortly after we heard it moving and it was making noises again. So it’s alive but it might be hurt pretty badly from the fall. I feel horrible about it all, and I’m sure dean does too. we would have tried to get the baby out had we heard it before. I’ve never heard it until today. He was pretty big considering it was a baby. so I’m not sure why we never heard it before today. So we left the baby in a box under the tree in our yard, hoping it and the mom are gone for good from our yard. Hoping the mom wont want to hurt us after it realizes we hurt the baby, more than anything hoping the mom isnt sick from the rat poison we left out on the gutter. ugh….at least now we know why it was so persistent in trying to get back in. poor thing!

aside from that last night was horrible. Caleb got up shortly after we put him to bed compaining his mouth hurt. we thought he had bitten the inside of his mouth since he grinds his teeth so much. but he kept screaming how bad the pain was, yet refused tylenol. so we told him there was nothing we could do but give him medicine or take him to the hospital. he eventually fell asleep but woke up throughout the night in severe pain. this morning he didnt want to go to school but after realizing he really just didnt want to go to school all day we werent sure if their was any real pain or if he was just trying to avoid school. I had mentioned yesterday that today was to be his first full day of school, that he’d go all day. he took that to mean he’d go until the time Dean got home from work, which is all day to him. I told him no, just as long as he went to school for preschool last year, that he’d be home a few hours before Dean. he finally decided he was ok to go to school today and Dean told the teacher we werent sure if it was real or a ploy to get out of school. but she called during the day and said he would calm down if given attention and a drink so she wasnt sure if it was real pain or not either and left it up to us if we’d get him early from school or not. I was working today and since I only do so once a week I made Dean call to make an appt for him to see the dr after school so I could finish working , run to get Caleb then take him to the dr. it was a fun afternoon. Caleb said his ear did hurt at school, but that at lunch time he felt like he was going to throw up then after that felt better. Then on the way to the dr he said theres something in my ear, yucky stuff. sure enough it was draining pus, his ear drum had ruptured, which is truly painful. poor kid was in miserable pain all night and wouldnt take tylenol, so I am sure he was hurting! so now he’s got medicine and should be much better by tomorrow. but after it started draining he was already feeling better, at least not screaming in pain! so it was a rough night, and a very very busy day. tomorrow will be busy preparing for our trip to Ohio. I’m worried about leaving the house unattended since there’s flood warnings for the next few days and the history of our basement flooding. Granted it hasnt in quite a while, but so soon after doing repairs any water down there would ruin so much hard work we’ve put in to make things nicer around here. thinking we’ll have the neighbor come check the basement for us while we are gone, but dont know what it will matter if we wont be here to clean it up!

I’m exhausted beyond belief. We’re planning on heading back on tuesday, I have my u/s on Wednesday to find out why I have been in so much pain and having so many problems since having Zeke. Thursday afternoon I have an appt w/ my primary care dr to discuss some things too. So next week should be fun too. At least I can look forward to a few days of hanging out w/ the hubby instead of working on the house or taking care of the kids all day while he works. well I gotta go clean up and start packing.

may or may not update again before our trip, depends on how the day goes tomorrow.