Overcoming

If you told me a year ago I’d get up and go running when it’s only 40 degrees I would say you are crazy.  Even crazier is that I spent the night battling pain and when it came time to get up I found it difficult to do so because of the pain. I have been battling fibromyalgia and arthritis for years.  Today that fight was a tough one.  I knew that the only way to overcome the urge to give in to the pain today was to get moving.  For days I’ve been wanting to go for a run. Our next 5K is in 2 weeks and I’ve barely been able to run due to my pain over the last few weeks.  This morning I decided to use my pain as a motivator. I could give in and stay in bed all day and likely feel worse, or I could get up and go for a run.   I did it.

Even though it was the first time I’ve run in 40 degree temperatures I did well. I felt like I was going very slowly and that my lungs were struggling to keep up but I did 5K in almost a minute less than I did in September.  My legs felt great all through the run. For me the difficultly comes after the run.  I can walk or run flat distances fine, but stairs become nearly impossible.  Today I prayed all through my run and specifically prayed that my knees would feel better after the run and not worse.  I’ve done all I can do to get healthy.  I am at the point where I am in pain if I don’t exercise and sometimes in pain if I do.   There’s no rhyme or reason to it.  I knew today was a battle I had to win.  I will not let my pain define me or limit me.

I woke up feeling defeated but got up and conquered the pain.  Granted I’m still in pain, but at least now I know that it doesn’t have to stop me.  Everyday we choose whether we will give in to our fears, obstacles, or limits. Today I used those things to motivate me to keep fighting.

I’ve become a fan of ABC’s Extreme Weight Loss. In general I hate reality tv, but the struggles these people face through their fitness journey are the same as what I am facing.   It’s become a huge motivator for me.  Today as I ran on the track and felt like giving in I heard Chris Powell’s voice asking me what I’m fighting for. In almost every episode I’ve watched I’ve seen him yell this at the person he was training.  I laughed because I felt like I wasn’t alone on that track today.  Granted it wasn’t really Chris Powell, but I firmly believe there was someone running beside me on that track.  Then I remembered what I am fighting for.  I won’t get healthy laying in bed whining about my pain.  I can’t be a role model to my kids if I give in to the pain.  I can’t accomplish the dreams I have for my education and ministry if I give in to defeat. I can’t be the wife and mother I want to be if I let the weaknesses of my body define me.  Giving up is never a choice unless you are willing to give up your dreams.  I am not willing to give up my dreams.  Today I fought the fight.  Tomorrow I will keep fighting. I refuse to let sickness and pain define who I am and who I will be.  Today I won. I know there will be more days when I don’t have the strength or energy, but today I am an overcomer.  One day at a time….