I’m really in a shitty mood today.  usually I can get myself out of these moods but the crazier the day got the worse the kids got and the worse my mood became.  I dont usually even say my mood is this bad, but today I know it is.  A lot going on….lots of emotional stuff, lots and lots of stuff going on in general schedule wise, and all I feel like doing is running away from it all.   it’s not the kids faults they miss their daddy, although i think it could have helped if they decided not to wake me at 2 and 4 am to tell me how much they miss their daddy.   I’m praying i awake in a much better mood.  I had a good cry tonight and hoping that’s all I needed,but it’s late and I still have some work to do for church so I better get to it so it’s not another past midnight night, esp. since the kids havent been sleeping through the night.    I’m at the point I dont want to talk to Dean or really anyone.  I had a good vent session w/ my friend today, and it was nice to have her apologize for leaving me this evening and saying she felt bad leaving me in such a bad place, the kids were all fussy, and she had her husband at home to go home to….I said it was alright I’d get by and she said something about having a friend to help or something and I knew then that she was right, if it hadnt been for her friendship this last week would have been hell.   truly.  so thanks M!!!

Speaking of friends,my bestest friend in the whole wide world is coming in a week from today…I’m so very excited.  the boys are too, except maybe Zeke who doesnt know what the heck we’re all excited for!!

Dean will be home on Friday, and boy am I ready for him to be home.  the boys are definitely ready for him to be back.  Bo just doesnt understand the fact Dean is away.  he thinks he is at work.  today he asked to go to see daddy at work, since his preschool is almost across the street from dean’s office.  he didnt get it, and later asked Dean on the phone if he was at his office and then said, why, do you like it?  He didnt understand why daddy would be somewhere else and not want to come home unless of course he liked it where he was.

theres been a lot of milestones hit while Dean is gone and that’s really sad, for him and for the boys.  lots going on this thursday that I really wish he didnt have to miss.  stupid work.  he better get a really good bonus this spring!! if not sooner!! 🙂

off to real work for me…got a ton to do for the turkey outreach at church….gonna be a long night..