we had a family crab feast of sorts tonight at our house.  They ordered crabs online and had them shipped, and they were so delicious.  but my stomach isnt thinking so, I have had trouble digesting any seafood this last year or so, it’s so sad.  anyway…we had a full house, crabs, ribs, chicken, pasta salad, potato salad, yummy desserts, it was really nice.  the weather even held out so we ate outside, it wasnt too hot and it was cloudy so it couldnt have been better!      I’m glad we did it, the best part was having it here so the kids could be free to play and couldnt get into too much trouble.   I love hosting, I really do.   I’m trying to getting better at letting the small things get to me, like keeping things clean because I’m so ocd about it, and I tried to enjoy the evening, and it was worth it. just wish I felt better….

this week is going to be busy.   Wednesday I’m going to get an echocardiogram and a chest xray to try to help the dr diagnose what’s causing me to have chest pains and shortness of breath.  I think it might just be asthma, as she did but wanted to be sure it wasnt anything else more serious a well, knowing my history of strange things to happen at my age!  🙂   today I had to use an inhaler I had last time I got a really bad cold w/ wheezing because I couldnt breath and felt so bad, it helped so that’s what makes me think it might just be asthma, but sometimes my chest will hurt and it’s not at the same time as the shortness of breath. it’s annoying.   I hate feeling so old and unhealthy!

last night we went to the last night of SOS at our church.   we had signed up to help w/ baptisms, and didnt know what that would be so we didnt know what to expect.  we ended up being on stage the whole time handing towels to the folks after their baptism.  front row seats, and it was awesome.  before the baptisms we stood in the back during worship and  it was awesome.  i was in tears and on my knees in awe of how great our God is.  Several times I thought about what it would have been like for me as a teen being there, and I realized it’s sad to say it’s different as an adult.  we sang a song that says “your everything to me” and as a teen that’s easier to say than when you have three kids, a husband, and tons of obligations.   i wished I could sing it and mean it, I wish  I didnt feel so weary and out of touch, but I know I am.  I’m tired day after day and I needed that time of personal worship, ironically in the midst of hundreds of others.  it was an awesome way to end a week in which I got the chance to serve in so many new ways.  looking back it was just what I needed, a chance to see that even when I feel so bad I can serve and I can make a difference.   Mostly I needed to be reminded that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.

tomorrow is church and our neices third birthday party, hoping I am up for it.  i really needed a nap today and never got one.  i’m hurting this evening, and Dean is too from a busy week.   no pain no gain right?

hope everyone has a great weekend!