I had another panic attack this morning, sort of. My father arrived here this morning around 6:15 to take Dean to the train station so he could go to work. Sometime between then and 8:00 my step father banged on my door and asked where Dean was. I was roused from my sleep long enough to mumble something about my dad taking him to the train station and he left me alone to go back to sleep. I was once again rudely awakened by the phone ringing at 8:00, it was my father asking if something had happened this morning. I said no and asked what he meant. He said something about someone attempting to call his cell phone shortly after he dropped Dean off at work and that he was worried about where Dean was. I was immediately struck with fear that another morning the likes of Sept. 11th. was underway and that I was yet again sleeping through it. And just like that day, I could not get through to Deans cell phone. But I actually had his work phone # this time so I tried it only to get no answer, it kept ringing and ringing. In attempt to keep calm I did not turn on the news for fear I would hear something I didnt want to. So instead I called my mom at work to find out what had caused my step dad to wake me up to ask about Dean. Apparently they were just concerned that he hadnt gotten up for work since my car was still here, they didnt know that we had arranged for Dad to take him this morning so I could have my car. So I was somewhat relieved and told her what Dad said and I reminded myself I was probably worrying over nothing.
Since I got no answer on Deans work phone I figured I’d get online and see if he was on or if he’d updated his blog which would be signs he was ok and at work. But the computer was slow and he wasnt online and the blog wasnt updated. So I checked my email only to find an email from my father in law saying how much he missed me and how glad he was that I was taking care of his son and grandson, which only sparked tears and the thought that indeed something must be wrong. But I got offline and tried Dean at work again, ah, relief, he answered the phone. I love my husband dearly and the thought of something happening to him brings tears to my eyes. Being the worrier that I am, I knew I probably had been worrying over nothing but it was still a relief to hear his voice at work, that way I knew things were ok. Apparently he just had problems purchasing his train ticket and had no money to take care of it. But the lady gave him a ticket and told him to pay when he gets back tonight from work. So he had called my dad to try to get some money but he coudlnt get through. The thing with my step dad was not related at all, but the two together had made me worry that something was wrong. Dean understood and said he was about to call me in a minute anyway.
I know I worry about everything but I’d rather worry than be naive. I think I will go adore my beautiful son now, he is such an angel. I know he is truly heavensent.
