They say you should “be careful what you wish for”. In the last year I’ve wished, or rather, prayed for certain things. Some of the most common requests are for health, restoration, and the guidance to know what is next as far as ministry and career. In the last year I’ve found renewed health. My marriage has been restored. As a result of those answered prayers, I’ve realized without those first two the third would never happen.
If I’m too unhealthy to work or serve then what use can I be? If my marriage isn’t stable or healthy how can I expect to help others who are struggling? This last year has been full of struggle. Physically, emotionally,and spiritually. When we pray for health, we often expect miracles. There were no miracles this year. My healing came after I worked hard to improve my health and take care of the temple, this body, that God gave me. We are called to be good stewards of all He gives us,including our bodies. I wasn’t being a good steward with my temple. The result was I had a frail, worn, and broken temple.
I wasn’t focusing on building up my marriage. The result was that the devil was slowly working to destroy it. The signs were there, and I even saw the effects of it but felt helpless to fix it. It wasn’t really a miracle that fixed my marriage, it was faith that God would provide even when I didn’t understand how. The months leading up to the moment where our marriage began to get repaired were spent in prayer. I prayed for God to help Dean and I focus on each other. That we would have a renewed commitment to one another. Ironically I was praying that God would help protect us from temptation. The words for these prayers amaze me when I look back at what has taken place in our marriage in the last year. God protected our marriage, but first the walls had to come crumbling down. Sometimes you can’t patch holes in a cracked foundation, sometimes you have to tear it down and start over. I think that’s what happened this year, in my marriage and for my health.
Sometimes we pray for what we think we want or need but don’t have a clue about the whole picture, but God does. He knew I needed healing, but He also knew I wasn’t doing my part to take care of the body he’d given me. He knew my marriage was in trouble, but knew there was nothing I could do to fix it. The only way for it to be fixed was for it to break, or rather for one of our wills to be broken.
So next time you pray for something and don’t see the answers you expect, remember that God sees the whole picture even when we can’t. His way of fixing something might seem a lot harder to us, but sometimes it’s necessary for us to find wholeness, restoration and joy. If you are in the middle of a struggle and are praying for God’s help, know that He may have already answered your prayer by allowing you to be going through what you are now. What can you learn from the experiences you are facing? How can you grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically; even in the midst of the difficult times.
C.S. Lewis says, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.†What is God trying to say to you as you suffer pain or difficult circumstances? Are you listening or are you just expecting a miracle? Take time today to listen as He desperately seeks to get your attention!
“You’re the God of every story,
You see each tear that falls.
We may not understand but one thing is certain.
You are faithful, You are faithful.”
