I spent a lot of Bo and Zeke’s younger years battling chronic illness, but they were really too little to understand. This last month has been interesting as they can not only see how sick I am but are able to communicate clearly about it.
On the days I’ve been able to rest, each of them have come in, laid down next to me and just hung out. Tonight Bo came in and cuddled up next to me, which is really odd for him. I asked him what he needed, he said he just wanted to spend time with me. Then he said I hope you feel better soon. Zeke said nearly the exact same thing yesterday when he came to visit me while I rested. I really hate that they have to see me struggle and not be the super mom I want to be, but these glimpses of compassion, love and kindness remind me that I can still be a good mom even if it just means being present.
I hope I can remember these moments the next time they are telling me how mean I am when I don’t let them get their way, because deep down these boys do love their mom. Tonight I’m grateful for time to just be still and enjoy my boys, even if it means I am sick. Perhaps the lesson for today is just that, being present is more important than whatever busyness distracts us from the ones we love.
