I’m failing as a parent. For weeks Caleb has been telling us what he wants for Christmas.  Last week we saw the Little Tikes Electronic Drumset he wanted but we didnt have the money to buy it til today.   I was afraid the stores would be out but didnt have much choice.  Today the stores were out and you cant find it online.  I found it on fingerhut online for a lot more than TRU had it for in store and we’re not willing to pay more plus S&H.  Dean says caleb wont mind but he hasnt heard caleb talk about it all day for weeks.  We went shopping with a list of things caleb wanted, they had nothing on the list and we hit a few stores.   Online stores are out too.  We got him a few things but nothing on his list.  I feel like a horrible mom.   We arent able to buy much this year as is which upsets me but to not at least find one thing he wants is breaking my heart.   At least he’s young enough he might be persuaded to like what we got him instead.   luckily Bo is young enough not to care what we get him since he’s not getting much at all.   We had to spend a good deal on getting caleb new pants to fit, he’s outgrown the new wardrobe we bought him 2 months ago, I kid you not, and he’s not fat he’s just grown a ton in 2 months.   how in the world are we gonna afford a 3rd, well since it’s a boy it shouldnt be so bad on clothes, and we’re having a hard time finding things to get for Bo since we’ve got so many toys from Caleb’s growing up so there wont be much except for all the newfangled things to get when Baby 3’s birthday and  when holidays roll around.  (although i eyed up a great new highchair that I think we will eventually get for Baby #3   since ours is 5 years old and starting to drive us nuts)  I came home more stressed than I was when I left the house, it was our first night out together without kids in a while and I am stressed, dean is sick and mom called to tell us to come home since Caleb threw up 4 times in the living room after we left.  Merry freaking christmas!  Have I mentioned ever how I hate holiday gift giving/buying due to the stress?  Sorry folks the only people we’re giving gifts to this year is our own kids and my nephews if that.   We’re barely getting much for the kids as is.    I hate this, and even with Dean working tons this month things are still tough.  I guess the important part is the bills are paid, the new van has tags(temp at that but legal) and now insurance.  so I guess the van will be our big gift to our family this year.   it’s a good one but I wish we could afford two cars and gifts for everyone.   Bah humbug!