The struggle is real

Confession: I am a perfectionist.

My 3.96 gpa is good enough, but man those .04 points drives me nuts.  In perspective, I was going to school and raising 3 boys. For some of that time I was working, going to school, volunteering regularly and taking care of my family. In hindsight, a 3.96 gpa considering those things along with my physical health is pretty impressive.

Typos and grammatical errors are a huge annoyance to me. But I’m sure if you look hard enough you’ll find an error if you keep reading this.  You know what, I know only a handful of folks who may see a grammatical mistake if there is one. (You know you are going to search for one now that I mentioned it right?) That’s because in the grand scheme of life, spelling really isn’t a big deal.  The perfectionist in me just cringed, but I know deep down that’s true.

I lost 90 lbs, but now am at 80 lbs lost due to gaining 10 lbs back. I work out 6 days a week, run 20+ miles a week and eat clean 80% of the time. I recently started a new medicine that is making me gain weight, and it is driving me crazy. I was close to 95 lbs lost at one point, but I wasn’t healthy. I now allow myself to eat food, what I want, when I want it as long as I work out and eat clean a majority of the time. I learned along the way that for me a size 2 is not maintainable, at least not if I want to be emotionally and mentally sound. But, the perfectionist in me knows I can lose more weight. Having done it before, I know I can likely lose more weight. Notice I never said I gained 10 lbs because I stopped working out and eating clean.  I know that consistency is a huge part of my physical health, but there’s a fine line between being consistent and being obsessed. I am sure if I was still in that obsessive phase I would be at 100 lbs lost instead of 80.  I’ve not given up on my health, in fact, gaining 10 lbs is likely healthier for me in many ways. Those close to me frequently remind me of this truth. I hate them for it, but they are right.

Several times in the last week I’ve been reminded that perfection is an illusion.  No matter how much I wish I could have perfect abs, a spotless house, and a perfect marriage, there is no such thing as perfection. We live in a fallen world. What was perfectly created is now damaged goods due to the entrance of sin in the world.

Last week someone said, that striving for perfection is a struggle. I know this to be true. When you are striving for perfection you will always struggle since there is no such thing as perfection, at least not in this lifetime. In fact, scripture reminds us that while we are constantly changing and improving, we will never be perfect until Christ’s return.

“For I am confident of this very thing,

that He who began a good work in you will perfect

it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

God is struggling alongside us each day to help us fulfill his plan for our lives. Do you know what that means? It means that while we may think when we get that job, that house, that spouse, that # on the scale that we will have arrived at perfection, we have not. How do I know this? Because the scripture says he will work to perfect us “until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phillipans 1:6). It doesn’t say, He will work to perfect us until we turn 18, or until we get that raise, or until our size 0 pants fit.

It’s not a bad thing to want a better job, a smaller waist, a healthier and happier marriage, or more money in your bank account. But it can be harmful to strive after goals that are based on unrealistic expectations.  In fact, wanting to improve yourself and become a better person is exactly what we are called to do. Scripture also says we “are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).

Yep, this is where it gets confusing. So is Scripture saying we can be perfect or not? Again, I think we are to pursue fulfilling our God-given potential. We are to model our lives as the only one who was ever truly perfect, Christ. But is it realistic to think we can ever be perfect? Didn’t you just read what I said, there is only one person who was ever perfect on this earth, and it wasn’t you. Sorry if I just burst your bubble, someone had to do it. The point is, we must find a balance between striving for something unattainable for the wrong reasons and seeking to be the best we can be.

You can be the best you at whatever size you are, whatever the square footage of your home is, whatever model or year of car you drive, or whoever you are married to if you are constantly pursuing to be all that God designed you to be.  We must find a balance between achieving greatness by the standards of our culture and discipline ourselves to follow the only one who truly knows what perfection is. By no means am I saying that since perfection is an illusion that you may as well give up on your desire to be smarter, healthier or happier. In fact, I insist the opposite is true. If you believe that scripture is true, you will know that we are to constantly strive to follow God’s plan for our life, which includes trying to be more like Christ.

Instead of chasing the dreams and goals that our culture thinks lead to perfection I want you to consider a better way.  Scripture says:

That, however, is not the way of life you learned^ when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ^ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:20-24).

The entire 4th chapter of the book of Ephesians offers practical ways to live that out, I highly recommend taking time to read it all! Trying to achieve perfection through the materialistic or culturally stated ideals is not healthy and likely won’t bring you the happiness you so desperately seek. I know once I got to a size 2 I still wasn’t happy. In fact, I’m happier and healthier today wearing my size 6 pants than I was when my size 2 pants fit. It’s true, I know you may find that hard to believe, but if you struggle with weight issues that’s a talk for another day. Contact me and I’d love to share more of that story with you!

My challenge for you today is to take a look at your life,

and think about what you are striving (or struggling) to achieve.

Are you reaching for the unattainable?

Are the consequences of this struggle worth it?

Are you searching for man’s ideal of perfection or God’s?

How can you re-prioritize your goals so that you can not only be successful in the eyes of others but God?

*For those who even question the validity of my claims about Christianity and scripture, that also is a discussion for another time. Again, reach out to me if you want to discuss it further. Even if you don’t agree with my views on scripture as a source of guidance, the practical advice given in Ephesians 4 is open to anyone. Read it for yourself. Loving others is not just for those who believe in Christ. Living responsible, kind, and giving lifestyles is not a bad way to invest the time you have on this earth regardless of your motivation or heavenly reward. Being the best you can have nothing or everything to do with your faith or lack thereof, that’s up to you decide. I think no matter your religious bent, we all can strive to be a little better.

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