I have a little problem. Â When things are going well I can find joy in it and celebrate. When things aren’t going well I quickly spiral into a deep well of negativity. Â This week I’m extremely stressed out. On top of that I am sick. Too much to do + little energy – not enough time = overload.
I’ve tried to push through it but several times I’ve lost my cool with Dean or the kids. Even worse is the way I talk to myself. Â The scale isn’t moving this week. How do I know this? Because my other little problem is being a slave to the scale. Â Several times this week I’ve told myself I’m going to get fat and am getting fat. Truth is I’ve not gained a single lb or even parts of a lb. In fact, the scale has moved by .2 or . 4 any given day. It moved down, not up. Â Instead of taking this as a sign that I’m doing ok I immediately wonder what I’m doing wrong.
Being unable to exercise today and yesterday makes me worry even more about meeting my goals. Today I sat down and looked at my goals. I was thinking a different number in my head as my next goal to meet. When I saw the scale not moving I freaked out. Today I realized that I have 2 weeks to lose 2 lbs to make my current goal. That is very doable. Â Assuming I get well and can exercise again soon, which is an easy assumption to make. Â I haven’t gained weight at all. Â I’m not getting fat, but in my head the scale not moving made me afraid. I am afraid I will gain the weight back.
This last week has proven that if anything I can maintain my weight loss. Even if I don’t lose another lb, I’ve been able to consistently maintain my weight. That in itself is a huge success.
So today I am trying to remind myself to not let setbacks ruin my dreams. Â Even more so I need to not let that negative voice in my head affect me or my family. Â It’s a constant struggle, but I think admitting it is half the battle. I’d love you to hold me accountable to being kind to myself and others.
