As many girls do as they grow up, I often dreamed of the little girl who I’d name Arianna when I’d have a daughter.  When we married, we decided when I was pregnant w/ Caleb that if we had a girl then we’d name her Brynn Marie.  (ironically Dean’s neice’s name is a mix of the two, brianna, I was bummed when they had a girl and named her that, knowing I’d never name a girl Arianna when there was a girl w/such a similar name already in the family)  And after our last boy was born I knew that I’d never give Birth to a little girl.  I am fine w/ that now, and even grateful that I dont have a girl for many reasons.

Yesterday I took Caleb (and the two youngins too) to the “scout shop” to get his cub scouts uniform.   I’d never known anyone who was a scout growing up and was completely clueless but the salespeople there were awesome and even were able to convince Bo to calm down by persuading him he didnt need a handbook, like Caleb’s, instead he settled on a zoo theme book for much less money!  As I tried to walk around (which was hard w/ two tired babies, or toddlers)  my interest was growing and even as I struggled w/ the two fussy kids, I knew that I’d find that this store would be home to many such trips and in the years to come I’ll be going back, to buy things for Bo’s first scout adventure as well as Zeke’s.  I’m so excited that they’ll have this chance to learn so many cool thing and also many life skills, and the best part is that for now Caleb’s teacher is Dean.  I know that once the other two join and Caleb is a boy scout insead of a cub scout, that that may mean I get to be a den leader for cub scouts so that I can be a bigger part of their learning and experience so that Dean can continue on as a leader for Caleb.

I love dreaming about our family’s future.  When the day to day struggles get to weigh me down, as they often do w/ two young ones and a demanding older sibling, I often just sit and watch my boys and am amazed at how blessed I am to raise these boys that one day will be great men.  that one day they’ll make a woman a great husband.  and why…because each day they each exhibit more and more of their fathers attributes, all in their own way.  caleb has his fathers gift for hospitality, always wanting to invite friends over to eat w/ us or just be here to hang out.  Boaz has his father’s social skills as well, he’ll say hi to everyone and will often even engage strangers in conversation, much to their dismay they often cant understand him!  Zeke has one of his best fathers traits yet, he’s a lover.  he will hug and cuddle and love with all he has.  there’s many other traits I see in the boys that remind me of Dean.  Day in and day out I see this.

Growing up w/ out a great father figure it means so much to me that my boys have such a great role model to look up to.  But I also know from experience that even though you may not grow up w/ your father in your life, you will still portray many of his same character traits and even behaviors, sadly I see this often in my brother, who for years was never w/ my dad but often talks just like him or even has the same facial expression, sorry jesse, but it’s true and it amazes me still that w/out having in our lives we’re still a part of him and it’s in our dna.    How blessed are my boys to have their fathers dna.   that is why I can sit and dream about the coming years and know I will only grow to love these boys more and more as they become the loving man that their father has taught them to be, despite how mean and terrible they can act at this age!!

so I’m glad I have three boys to be on this journey with.  I’m excited about their futures and more importantly how Dean and I can help them along that journey.   Dean and Caleb went on their first cub scout camp overnight last night.  I was up late and up most of the night sick, again.   This morning I managed to get dinner in the crockpot, laundry is going and the house is cleaned up.   (all day yesterday I had let dishes sit in the sink, the dishwasher didnt get emptied til bedtime and dirty clothes laid all over the place.   for many of you, you know this is very uncharacteristic of me….but for me it’s a good thing…letting the stupid meaningless things of the day go so that the more important things can get done.  )  we’re heading to the zoo in a bit, our church is having the band play for an hour.  so we’re going to go to that and walk around the zoo a bit then come home to rest some before dinner.    then we have to head to church, it’s our tech team weekend.

well gotta get some lunch so we can get going on the rest of our day.   have a good weekend…