Dear Mr. Squirrel,

I want to thank you for visiting our lovely home. We always enjoy having our children learn about how others live in the world. But once we discovered the damage you had bestowed upon our lovely home we found it only fair to begin the eviction process. We made some repairs and left the “door open” for you to collect your belongings and head elsewhere. After checking to make sure you had left the premises we again finished repairs and changed “the locks” on your old entryway. Unfortunately you failed to realize this and have since tried to resort to breaking and entering.

What was once guilt over having to break our landlord tenant agreement, has turned into plain anger at your lack of abiding by the rules we’ve set. Disabling our satellite tv cable is no way to thank those who so nicely let you live in their attic rent free and who even repaired the damages you created at no cost to you. Again, continuing to damage our property, which you have no claim to lest I NEED to remind, will only result in severe retaliation on our part.

You may think your cuteness will let you win, but make no doubt about it, this is WAR! as Dean so nicely put it, “that squirrel has evil eyes!”

*p.s. anyone good at catching squirrel and interested in cooking him for supper? dont get on me about animal cruelty, I was trying to be nice to this creature of God but he’s hit my last nerve and all patience is gone. I will not shell out more money to fix repairs that can be prevented by giving the creature back to his maker! 😉 We even cut off most of the nice long branches from our tree that was enabling him to get to the roof but seems we didnt cut enough, sadly the tree is more bare now that looks good so it might have to be cut down, all in the attempts to keep the squirrel off the roof. ARGH!!  I’ve been listening ot him chew a hole in our roof all morning and there’s nothing i can do about it! I keep going out and yelling at him, he’ll go away for a bit then come back.  I have to get out of here or I’m going to lose it, maybe I’ll go by a gun or some poision…darn squirrel!