or how Amy suffers after doing too much, I like to call it “why my life sucks”; whatever you call is it’s horrible.  For a while now, maybe even a year or two, I’m guessing maybe since I had meningitis even but at least for the last year it’s been the worst, that after trying to have a day, a normal day, one where I do do do and actually feel like I accomplished something day, normally days when I do my best to overcome how crappy I feel when I wake up and still manage to get tons done, well by the end of that day I’m done.  Physically done.  To the point where I dont have the energy to eat dinner even.  I’ve had a lot of those days lately. So last night Dean took the kids out to play, for a little while I tried to do some chores outside but realized I coudlnt keep going. I came in laid on the couch and was asleep in less than a minute I”m sure.  I got up eventually to help get the kids in bed but never really did much the rest of the night.  This morning I awoke in pain and so tired, almost like I hadnt slept at all.  I should be used to this, not having the strength and energy to keep up but for a while it had gotten a little better, or maybe I just had gotten better at organizing my day better so I’d do things and rest, but the last few days, ok week, have been days where I am going all day non stop.  My body cant keep up, and I hate to give in.  but here I am today in serious need of sleep because I once again overdid it. I feel so old. I should be able to do things and not feel so crappy afterward and esp. not for so long afterward.  I think it might be time to check back in with my dr, but I really dont want to.  I just want to feel good!! at least if I do go I wont have to pay, I paid off almost all of our medical bills yesterday, would have done more but the kiddos woke up from nap and it’s hard to be on the phone w/ Bo always getting into trouble! guess I”ll work on that today, right after I plan Calebs birthday party, do the laundry, clean the house, tend to the kids, run errands. Yeah I dont know why I’m so tired!  I want a nap…..or I’d settle for sitting poolside but I cant manage it with all three kids alone. Summer kind of sucks when you dont get to go swimming ever.  Caleb and Dean go all of the time at the neighbors pool but someones got to watch Zeke and I dont like to hang out at the drunk neighbors house even if he does have a pool.  So maybe next year when Zeke is able to enjoy it maybe I will figure out how to manage them all at the pool or beach by myself. I tried to get Dean to call in sick today but he’s got this thing called work ethic and told me I need to do my job even when I dont feel good. He’s lucky I wasnt in the mood to tell him that I do that 100% of the time. That most days I dont feel good yet i do do do but why argue with him, truth is I am not allowed to feel bad and get a break. this is my plot in life, to feel crappy and figure out how to manage home kids and whatever else by myself all day.  Arent you glad you arent me? (thanks for listening to me complain – sorry if you made it this far, this post really was just for me to vent, sorry for depressing you!)
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