There are a lot of things I want in life, for me and my family. Sometimes it’s material things that really dont matter, but I want them anyway. I dont work, and havent since Caleb was about 18 months or so. That means money is tight sometimes on one budget. I’ve said it before that I really am not in love with and most days dont like our house. but it worked out well for us when we moved here, and it kept the house in the family, we bought it from Dean’s parents who had been renting it since they moved to Ohio. We’re meeting with a realtor on Tuesday evening to discuss selling the house and possibly moving to Ohio, Dean should hear more about the possible job transfer next week. I am excited at the prospect of a home I can pick out and take the time to make our own as opposed to what happened when we moved into this house. But the more I think about it, this house isnt that bad. There’s lots of room and we’ve made it our home. Each room is decorated the way it is because I choose to make it that way. I am afraid no one will want to buy this house, which I often refer to as a peice of crap house. In reality we chose this house, even when it was roach infested(and took 3 visits from an exterminator to rid of), carpets full of filth including dog feces, holes in the walls, several still wet from water leaking into the basement carpets and rugs that stunk to high heaven, and a myriad of other things that to me made the house unlivable. If social services had stepped one foot in this house when the family that was living here did I am sure they’d do something drastic to remove the child from the conditions. at the time we had a one month old, I was recovering from a c-section and all Dean could see was what we could do with this house. All I could see were the roaches and damage. Weeks later and now years later, this is our home, there are still rooms that make me cringe, ones I was just trying to fix up today but the fact is our house is our home, and it’s much better than it was 4, almost 5 years ago now. The fact that I am bothered by things doesnt mean some other stars in their eyes couple/family will see the same potential that Dean saw, this time though they wont have to look past all the stuff we did. So maybe the house isnt hopeless after all…..

what go me really going to be about is the free chest freezer we got yesterday.   I love craigslist, seriously.   I’ve been using it to sell some things, which is always good, but we have gotten so much nice free stuff off it.  The free patio set, the free swingset, and now a free chest freezer is great condition!   It makes me realize how blessed we are.   We know we are blessed to make it with my not working, but every now and then we get more blessings, and even if they are material things, they are reminders that God provides, even for things we dont necessarily need.  That he sees and knows our dreams and our hearts desires, and no matter how trivial He provides.   So I’m hopeful that there’s a dream job for Dean in Ohio and I’m even more hopeful there’s ahouse with everything I desire waiting there for us and our used but new and either cheap or free belongings.   We’re blessed and I know if this move is meant to be the peices will fall in place like they did when we came here, just a little more smoothly this time would be nice!!