Ok I told you it’s not MS right? i dont remember and I’m too lazy to go back and see what I wrote.  I saw my regular dr today, the good, ok best part was that I havent gained any weight, or lost any. I’m maintaining the same weight which isnt great but I”m not gaining!  My bp was super.   She agrees that what the MRI showed is most likely from migraine activity.  When I mentioned not wanting to shell out the highest copay for the migraine meds, which actually work which made me not want to complain but medical costs are getting out of hand, well she agreed to give me something else.  So I will start that and see how I do.  She thinks it might help some of my other symptoms but if it doesnt we’ll have to figure out something else.  She doesnt agree w/ the neurologists game plan, you know the wait and hope you get better on your own approach.  She wants me to call her after my appt with him next week and if he is still not being active in seeking treatment/diagnosis for me then she is going to give me a referral for a second opinion.   I’m guessing after how our conversation went with him yesterday that I’ll be finding a new neurologist.    I like him really I do but I need someone who is willing to help me not let me suffer.  He isnt looking at all of the symptoms together as my regular dr is, and I think that’s why she is more concerned.  he just wants to treat each separately, he wants her to deal with the stuff he doesnt want to but he’s not even willing to do anything for the neurological stuff right now.

I’m feeling ok these days, I’m not letting this illness get the best of me anymore. if the drs dont know what it is and cant do anything to help then I’m just going to make myself act like things are normal.  I’m going to do my best to keep up with my old routine and push myself if I have to because as of now as far as the drs are concerned it’s not a big deal so I’m done letting it get the best of me.   I might feel like crap but I will keep going.   The busier I am the better is my motto.   Speaking of busy, I took both the little ones to walmart and sams club this morning, barely had time to get some lunch for myself after feeding the kids then going to get Caleb.  then I put Bo down for nap then headed to my drs appt then back in time to visit with my friend until Dean got home when I made dinner.  then we headed out to run some errands and got back after the boys should have been in bed.  now I’m wiped out, again, but I started my day this way so I guess it doesnt matter if I am sitting around being tired and miserable or out and about tired and miserable.  I’m choosing to keep going and hope one day like the dr said, the symptoms will just vanish, it’d be a miracle and I believe in miracles so maybe one day he’ll be right.   until then I’m going to bed….;-)