I’ve lost my patience in the last two weeks.    Having a kid cry unconsolable for hours a day is something we’ve never had to face and I dont know how parents do it.  Friends of ours said their baby was like that for the first 4 months of her life, I think I would have taken her back to the hospital!   I am spoiled I’m sure that Caleb was and is a healthy and pretty easy to care for kid, as a baby and now.  Bo unfortunately is taking on my lack of immunity and is not facing this bout of illness well.   It’s odd because I nursed him a lot longer than I did caleb and caleb was healthy, makes me reconsider nursing this next one.  Maybe my milk isnt good enough it sure didnt help Bo build an immune system.

So BO has another drs appt today.  We had to call the on call dr last night becuase Bo turned blue.   For once something made Dean worry!   He’s been fine since then, color wise, but he’s got a fever, still crying for no reason without being calmed, wont drink, and is having fast labored breathing.   I am dreading going to the dr again, and wishing Dean could help out but I guess this is just a lesson in patience and perserverance for me, one i’m failing to cope well with.   I dont mind God letting me learn through my own illness/struggles but this one is too much, seeing my baby suffer.    Everytime I feel Baby 3 kick I look toward the future with fear that one day I might have to go through something similar with him.    it’s scary…..sometimes I hate being a mom….well I need to at least try to comfort the screaming kid although it rarely helps…