Breaking through the Fibrofog…

I’ve been reading some peoples blogs who I used to be very close with but no longer talk to. For some reason I feel like I’m spying on them. I have no problem reading complete strangers blogs but it feels odd being able to check in on people I still care for to see whats going on in there lives even though I dont see or talk to them anymore. Not that its completely my fault I’m not talking to them, I’ve done my part to mend things with them but for some of them they just dont want to be a part of my life. Thats fine and although I dont understand their feelings or reasonings I accept that they have closed the door to our friendship, I just wish that I didnt still care so deeply for people so that I could close the door. I have this thing about not giving up on people, and luckily in the past it’s helped me be able to regain old friendships. I think the hardest part right now is not understanding why someone wont forgive me for something I did a long time ago, especially when what I did didnt involve them. Argh. I’m all emotion today about it and not sure why. May have to do with the amazing time I spent with my church family today at a going away luncheon for a family in our life group. It reminds me of the friends I moved away and left. Now that I’m back “home” I’ve found new relationships that are amazing, but it still is hard to look back at the past sometimes and wonder what might have been if time and distance hadnt gotten in the way of things. Life is hard, friendship is hard.