I keep getting on Dean about not updating his blog but lately I’ve been slacking as well. Today we invited Caleb’s preschool classmates and parents over for a playdate since there is no school this week. A few of his friends came and we had a great time. The kids play really well together and it was nice to get to talk to other moms. I’d really like to do this on a more regular basis and one of the moms seemed interested so we’ll see.
I keep forgetting tomorrow is New Years Eve. Somehow the holiday season is confusing me alot, I guess it has a lot with missing out on Thanksgiving, and that usually sets you up for the other upcoming holidays, or at least for me it does. and this year its like the last 2 months are all a blur. I dont mind it really, but I wish i felt like I could celebrate and get into things more. I dont know how to expect tomorrow evening to go, we’re planning to go to a friends house for a party if we all feel better, Caleb’s getting back to normal after a cold but Dean and I are feeling pretty bad today. We’ll be taking the kiddos with us so I dont know how much I’ll really get to enjoy the evening. I feel like I cant do anything social and enjoy it, so today was nice. I didnt mind nursing amidst other moms, and especially another nursing mom. It’s when we go out with our single young adult friends that I feel odd and have tried to have to not nurse while we’re out with them. I know it might just be me, but I dont want to offend anyone while nursing, and it’s not like I’m not discreet, it’s just I know in the past they’ve not understood what it’s like for us to have to be parents and do things so I doubt they’ll understand how hard nursing is let alone that its not easy sometimes when you have to worry how it’ll affect those around you. I’m even considering not attending our current young adult group for awhile, we currently have a babysitter for our weekly meetings, but I tend to have to nurse during the time we are there so I dont really get to participate so I may as well just stay home and nurse in the comfort of my own home instead of try to attend and be disconnected. Not to mention we just found out our current sitter wont be able to do it anymore so we dont know what will be happening with caleb during that time. Not sure why I got off on that tangent, mostly because I’m not really looking forward to trying to get out and be social tomorrow when I know it will be challenging due to nursing and caleb. it’s hard when your kids are the only one being tagged along to events, you want to be involved but it’s not really fun when you feel like your kids cant be there and be happy, that or you have to constantly be on them to behave or in the babies case to worry about when he needs to nurse and trying to figure out where you will nurse so you’re not nursing in public. sorry for the complaining just worrying in advance about what should be a fun night out, dean says this sets us up for a failed evening but I want to be realistic, and taking a 5 week old and a 3 year old to an adult party isnt exactly realistic. blah! not that we could really leave the baby with a sitter since he wont take a bottle, but I really wish we could. I think I may just decide to spend the new year at home with my boys. it would be so much easier!!
I’m hoping to at least get out with Dean for a date in a few weeks to celebrate my birthday but know even then the baby might have to tag along due to feeding issues. if the boy would take a bottle we’d be fine but he’s so spoiled w/ my nursing him on demand that he wants nothing to do with it. he’ll barely take a pacifier when we offer it. this is so different then with caleb who took bottles and a pacifier from almost day one. it’ s good I guess but it’s hard, so very hard. well gotta run, the baby was laying on my lap and his diaper just leaked all over my leg, fun fun fun.
