well Hurricane Isabel hit town Thursday leaving our house only w/out power briefly but we have some friends and family who are still w/out power. Despite our horrible history of getting a flooded basement, God answered our prayers and left our basement dry and all the downed trees were on everyone else’s property not ours! So I have been full of a grateful heart and yet am still sad for those around who are dealing w/ such financial loss and most of all the loss of some people’s homes. we were definitely blessed and under God’s protective arm this past week. So blessed even that Dean was one of the few that actually could make it to work and get a full day in on Friday, although I wasnt too thrilled about driving him downtown since it was flooded on most streets around Dean’s works.
We went to a wedding today for my cousin, I’ve never been to such a long wedding, the ceremony was about an hour long and we had to leave the reception early, and even after 2 1/2 hours of reception we left w/out any cake! I heard we missed out on that and a make your own sundae buffet!! But we had to make it back to pick up Caleb and to get Dean to church so he could head out to a Five Iron Frenzy concert w/ the church’s youth group. Caleb and I tried to go to a nearby state park to enjoy a McDonalds dinner, but the park was closed indefinitely due to weather, or so the sign said, all I could think was maybe the river banks were still overflowing. So we headed home to a quiet evening. Which was good because he didnt get a nap in today, so he went to bed w/out much fuss at his normal time, except he’s not going to like getting woken up at 11 to go pick up Dean, this one car family thing isn’t always convenient.
Back to the wedding thing, this year will be Dean and mine 5 year wedding anniversary. It was nice to reflect on how small our wedding was yet to be glad it was the way it was. I LOVED dancing w/ my hubby today, we never get to do that and it felt great to be just me and him all day. Not that I dont love my son, but it was a much needed break, and since I left him w/ my best friend for once I felt comfortable leaving him all day and not worrying how he was. He had a great time playing w/ his girlfriend and he’s encouraging her baby brother to walk, he, the one year old, took two steps toward Caleb today, I could only get him to take one step towards me when I got there. So having caleb around helps him get motivated. But the point was, Dean and I had a great day. Being all dressed up, getting free wine, food and time w/ friends is great. Makes me look forward to my other cousins wedding next month, but that one Caleb is going to w/ us.
In other news, in the face of the storm I kept worrying about my father, seeing as the worst of the storm in our area hit where he lived, and I kept telling myself to call him but I couldnt do it. So tonight amidst the quiet of the empty house, I did it. “the # you have dialed has been disconnected.” Not sure if that is what I wanted to hear or his voice. I am sure I want to hear his voice and know he is okay, but that would make me face the facts of how our relationship is, but instead I have to sit and wonder if it’s better for me this way. I cant control a relationship w/ someone if I dont know where they are or even how to find them. My father knows how to quietly fall off the face of the earth until he feels like making himself known again. Not sure why he’s still going through these phases in his older age, but praying he decides to at least call and say he’s ok and I’d even settle for him calling just because he needs something. Think this was especially hard for me after all the family stuff you see at a wedding, i.e. bride being giving away and father-daughter dance…my song for the last week that keeps resonating as I strive to be a better wife, daughter, friend, sister, mom….. “oh God it hurts so bad to love anybody down here, why dont you come and help me out cause i cant even see clear” finding great comfort this week in song and His word, nice to have that instead of wallowing in my own sorry “you are so good to me, you heal my broken heart, you are my Father in Heaven….you are so good to me, you heal my broken hear, you are my Father in Heaven….you are beautiful my sweet sweet song, you are beautiful my sweet sweet song, you are beautiful my sweet sweet song, I will sing again…. ” I am grateful my son has a loving relationship w/ his father but I hope he will learn to always find comfort in His Heavenly Father as I have, when we depend on others we constantly get hurt but w/ Him there’s only a loving outstretched arm….
