03/28/03
It’s Friday, my last full day as a stay at home mom. It wasnt quite a normal day though, Dean only worked half a day since his friend is in from out of town. I was lucky enough to get a nap in this afternoon, I’ve been very rundown this last week, mostly my own stress induced illness. I enjoyed being able to rest without worrying about Caleb getting up from his nap before me since Dean was home. We headed downtown this evening to go to the Aquarium to enjoy the last night of their off season discount friday night prices. Apparently everyone was trying to go for cheaper so it was jammed pack. Which made it hard to keep up w/ the kids. But I still enjoyed it a lot.
We’re home now, and I am once again exhausted. I think it’s mostly from worrying about whats to come in the next week. Monday I start work. I dont even know what my schedule will be yet, I am supposed to hear from my new boss tomorrow, thats when she is figuring out who will be doing what on Monday. Dean has to drop his friend to the airport Monday morning so I am hoping everything will work out time wise, but I am scared it wont, since we only have the one vehicle.
Not sure what the weekend holds for me. The guys want to go to DC tomorrow and I truly do not. Dean really wants me to go with but I think I could use a day to do what I want to do, without Caleb. I know it’s odd as I approach going towards time when I wont have much time w/ him, as I go back to work, but I think if this is going to work I am going to need some time to myself to really come to grips with these changes and the think about things. This is very hard for me, going back to work. Just a few weeks ago I was saying how we were doing really well paying bills w/ just one paycheck. But then we had our first new car payment and higher insurance payment, leaving little to no money for health insurance. We will be ok in a few weeks, I am hoping. bad thing is we have to pay for childcare costs ahead of time which is money we really dont have. This will be the first time in months that we’ve had to pay bills late, but once things get going we should be fine. I just hope I can hold out long enough to realize we need the money. I mean I am content to be poor and be at home, if we had other health insurance there’d be no question that I could stay home,but we dont know when or if that will happen with Dean’s work. So until then, back to work I go. I get teary eyed just thinking about leaving my baby……thank God its only Friday
