well, I wrote earlier about

well, I wrote earlier about things getting better, and as I put the baby down for his nap I was getting another call about a job! So I now have another interview for Tuesday. This job gives you a subsidy of $25/wk added to your pay to go towards paying for childcare. It’s not much but it’s better than nothing! My problem will be if I have to decide which job I want more. It’s also not far from home, 10 minutes but pending traffic it may take longer, but I think it’s on the bus route so that might be good for us too. So much to think about. I liked job seeking when I had a reliable car and no baby to worry about daycare for. Job seeking sucks as is, but all of these other things make it even more stressful. Not to mention I havent worked in months, well not for money. I work my butt off everyday tending house and baby and in the evening husband but the pay stinks and the positive reinforcement you get from clients or coworkers, well it’s just not there. Now I love taking care of my husband and son, and I do it out of love. But I think I need to get back to work for myself. I am quite a different person when it comes to work, its amazing how different and I know I need that social interaction and feeling of accomplishment and worth. there’s a great deal to be gained from being a SAHM, but sometimes a woman just wants a career. I hate to think that I am not as valuable becuase I dont have a real job, meanwhile I do the hardest job out there. Soon I will be doing a real job and being a wife and mommy, and that I think is harder than being a SAHM. I mean I can now clean and cook and do laundry throughout the day. Once I start working my time will be very limited and I am going to spend as much possible of it with my son and husband, but I know it will be hard to get as much done as I do now once most of my day is spent outside the home. I think Caleb will benefit from being with other children, and I know I need some adult conversation! (I dont mean to say being a SAHM is less a job than being a working mom, no matter if you work or not , being a Mom is the toughest gig out there. I am just saying I dont know how I will be able to manage caring for everything at home and working, I know I can, I just cant imagine how it will work.)